Not That It Matters....

Podoloffs Box '08

2009-10-18T00:35:00.003-06:00

By Myles Brown

val·u·a·ble [val-yoo-uh-buhl]–adjective

1. having considerable monetary worth; costing
or bringing a high price: a valuable painting; a valuable crop.
2. having qualities worthy of respect, admiration,
or esteem: a valuable friend.
3. of considerable use, service, or importance:
a valuable player.
4. apparently not Jerry West. (But he got the logo, so it’s all good.)

*And if you don’t know, now you know.

It didn’t come to me in a dream and alas, I have no analogies. Crazy, right? No academy awards, no presidential elections, no beauty pageants, no monster truck rallies, none of that sh*t. All I have are the facts and because of them, I’m wide awake and hopping mad. The NBA MVP has lost much of it’s significance in recent years due to questionable voting results, but this year I sincerely hoped that since the Suns had set and Dirk had been properly chastised that the public-and the press-would be more responsible in casting their vote. But apparently the insanity continues, as people pay absolutely no regard to history. Or the present, for that matter. It’s 2 AM, I’m wide awake and hopping mad. Because of Chris F*cking Paul.

It’s been a fantastic year highlighted by four compelling candidates, LeBron James, Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett. Each player has dominated a portion of this season, but as the schedule draws to a close several pundits have found themselves incredulously gazing at the Hornets record alongside Paul’s production and wonder how CP3 could not be MVP. I sat between two of them during a recent Wolves game who did everything short of have me escorted from the building for even questioning it. I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to go ahead and call bullsh*t on this one. As compelling as these four candidates have been, in my not so humble opinion only two of them are actually worthy.

[Insert dismissive cries of "Hater!" here]

LeBron James has had a spectacular year. But his team didn’t. He’s consistently approaching that elusive triple double average, but it’s only been in an effort to keep his team afloat as they’ve found themselves adrift in a shallow Eastern Conference. Honestly, I think that last years Finals was a fluke and that those raised expectations have unfairly skewed the perspective on Cleveland’s performance this year. Regardless, Bron’s chances aren’t hurt just because the Cavs wont win 50 games, it’s how they’ve regressed. And just as the previous years Finals appearance-fluke or not-would’ve bolstered his case had the team even come close to defending their Conference position, (the same happened for Dirk in the previous year…) it will cost him as they falter down the stretch.

He delivered with big stats (30.2, 7.9 & 7.3) that didn’t translate into wins. His increased scoring and assists didn’t result in any significant increases for the team, in fact Cleveland is scoring almost exactly the same amount of points per game as they did last year (96.9). More importantly, their much vaunted defense is allowing almost five more points per game (92.9 to 97.2, which actually gives them a negative point differential on the year) and they’ve slipped significantly in offensive and defensive rankings. (from 105.5-8th & 101.3-4th to 106.2-19th & 106.6-11th) Who did they lose that would explain this? Anderson Varejao? Things turning on the loss of such a seemingly inconsequential player would run contrary to the faction who insist that Bron carries a gang of ne’er do wells. But it’s either that or that this team was simply not ready to defend their crown, even after a midseason trade that was supposed to make them stronger. Which is somewhat reflective of the King’s leadership, no? If not, it certainly doesn’t show how he “makes his teammates better”. Regardless, fair or not, he who takes the credit must also shoulder the blame. Maybe that’s what “Chosen One” means.

Oh, and call me picky if you’d like but I still can’t help but notice that if Bron suits up for the remaining five games (which may not be likely considering his back spasms) he still will have played in two less games this year due to the six games he sat out with that mysterious sprain. On his non-shooting hand. Whether he should’ve played or not, those games may cost the team home court advantage as they hover only 1.5 games above the reinvigorated Wizards. Actually, they’re only two games in front of the streaking 76ers who sit in sixth place and these things matter since Cleveland has lost six of their last ten and ten of their last twenty games heading into the postseason. If their unimpressive record was eclipsed by strong play as the playoffs began, Bron would have more of a case. They haven’t and he doesn’t.

Which brings us back to Chris Paul and the surprising Hornets who still sit atop the Western Conference. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed. He deserves a hearty thanks, a pat on the back, a hug, a Kit Kat, a Vogue cover, anything but an MVP trophy. Why? First of all, like LeBron, Paul is upheld by his advocates as a player who ‘carries’ a sub par roster. My problem is that many of those same advocates also want to point at New Orleans record and call them the ‘best’ team in the West. It can’t be both. If it’s a sub par roster, then they’re not the best team and if they are the best team, then the roster isn’t sub par. But let’s take a closer look.

Paul is averaging four more points per game (17.3 to 21.5) on three more shots (13.6 to 16.5) and is shooting the ball considerably better (43.7% to 49.1% and 35.0% to 37.2% from three) while adding almost three more assists per game to his totals (8.9 to 11.5). The team has also made noteworthy improvements, shooting better from the field (44.5% to 46.6%), from three (36.2% to 39.3%-on 250+ more attempts. And counting…) and from the line (74% to 77%) in addition to an assist total that has already been surpassed (+125) with two games left on the schedule. These stats, along with New Orleans 16 game improvement in the win column have prompted many to declare Paul as the catalyst for change instead of acknowledging the return of David West (52 games in ‘07) and Peja Stojakovic (13 games in ‘07).

West (20.3 & 8.9) is a physical PF in the paint who can also run the floor, board, defend and step outside the paint to make the open jumper. Stojakovic (45.0% on 6.7 3PA) is one of the games greatest shooters of all time and a three time All Star. Granted, they are not two of the first names anyone would call out in a fantasy draft, but they are the perfect compliments for a point guard. No one would argue CP3’s ability to utilize his teammates, but too many are declaring that Paul has ‘carried’ or ‘made’ these players instead of acknowledging how they’ve made the game easier for him. I had the chance to speak with Coach Byron Scott about this on Wednesday.

SLAM: You played with an iconic PG in Magic and coached another one in Kidd, how is Paul different?

Scott: Well I think he has a little bit of those guys in him. Magic was obviously very unique at 6′9″, the way he could run a team, his passion for the game, his leadership. Chris has a lot of those qualities, as far as his leadership and Magic could take over a game at any time. I think Chris has that ability. Jason Kidd, the way he could push the ball and find guys in the open court so and the passes he could make to certain people that you just didn’t think would be made, Chris has that ability. So he has a little bit of both of those guys in him, but I still think that he’s more like Isiah than anyone I’ve seen in a long time.

SLAM: It’s obvious that Chris makes the people around him better, but going back to the injuries that you mentioned before, how has the return of Peja and David West for a full season made him better?

Scott: Well David ended up missing thirty games last year, obviously that hurt us big time, but Peja missing almost a whole entire season was a killer. So having him back and healthy, and playing the way he’s capable of playing, which was a slow process cause he still had to get back to being comfortable out there on the basketball court and probably took about a month to a month and a half. But having him now has been fantastic. You don’t sometimes realize how much you’ll miss a guy until he’s gone and not having him last year was a big blow to our team.

SLAM: Do you think that can be directly attributed to Chris’ rise in FG% and assists? He’s certainly worked on his game, but that has to spread the floor and make things easier for him.

Scott: It does and when you have a guy out there who can make threes on a consistent basis like Peja, your assists are gonna go up. We do a good job of letting spreading the floor and letting Chris try to attack people and when they (the defense) sag in, he finds the open guy. All they’ve gotta do is make shots and if they do that, it’s gonna be a pretty good night.

Then I had an opportunity to catch up with the candidate himself.

SLAM: There’s no real set criteria for the award, what do you think it means to be an MVP?

Paul: It’s exactly what it says, most valuable player on a team and which team couldn’t do without that player. You know, not necessarily the best player in the league but if-I’ll pop you in your mouth if you keep talkin’ (That was for Bonzi, not me. These guys are hilarious. I’d tell you more, but this is already long enough.)

SLAM: There’s a lot of talk about an MVP making his teammates better. What do you think it means to make your teammates better and how do you do that on this team?

Paul: I don’t think it’s always necessarily about scoring, it’s about your teammates having that confidence in you and when you go out there on the court you give your teammates more confidence.

SLAM: Byron Scott has mentioned that the teams backgrounds and the way you guys were raised by your respective families has made you easier to coach and by effect made this a better team. How do you think your background has affected you as a ballplayer?

Paul: I think it has a lot. It’s made me a lot more thankful for my teammates and the relationship that we have and we realize that we’re not just teammates, we’re a family and we go out there and play for each other every night.

SLAM: You’ve also been very open with your faith. How does that affect your approach to the game?

Paul: It helps me to respect the game and also understand that I’ve been truly blessed. I definitely understand that this can be taken away from me in the blink of an eye. God has blessed me with the opportunity to play the game that I love, take care of my family….words can’t even describe it. I’m riding so high right now I don’t even wanna come down.

SLAM: So God makes point guards?

Paul: Oh yeah, God makes everything. God makes all of this possible.

SLAM: What do think you still need to improve on?

Paul: Everything. Defense, shooting, I want to cut down my turnovers if possible.

SLAM: There’s been a lot of people rallying around Byron for Coach of the Year and yourself for MVP, but there isn’t as much talk about the team going into the playoffs. Do you think that you guys can be a top seed and still be an underdog?

Paul: I think so, but all that matters right now is what everyone in our locker room thinks. We haven’t been in the playoffs the past two seasons, I’m the only person in our starting five who hasn’t played in a playoff game, but if that’s the way we’ve gotta approach it, I’m comfortable with that.

SLAM: The Saints rallied around the city back when they made it to the NFC Championship and now you guys are enjoying a similar run. What does it mean to you to be able to do that for New Orleans?

Paul: It means a lot. It’s our first full season back in New Orleans and we’ve had opportunities to get back out in the community and show the fans how much we appreciate them and that’s had a lot to do with our success.

SLAM: What’s the most important thing you think you’ve done for the community?

Paul: Just giving the city a little more hope. We go out there every night, on the road or at home with New Orleans on our chest.

SLAM: People readily acknowledge how you make your teammates better, but how has the return of David West and Peja Stojakovic made the game easier for you?

Paul: Well D.West is an All Star. I think we compliment each other really well and he’s easily one of the best power forwards in the league. And Peja, he’s been one of the best shooters to ever play in the NBA and I think that the style of play we have right now compliments him. He really makes the game easier for me. Both of those guys.

SLAM: If you could cast a vote for MVP and couldn’t vote for yourself, who would you vote for?

Paul: David West.

The New Orleans Hornets have had an exceptional year and Chris Paul is undoubtedly the primary reason for that. But it’s only been one year and contrary to popular belief, the MVP is not a one year award. A closer look at the awards recipients will reveal as much. The voting process and varying criteria suggested for the award are far from perfect, but one aspect has pretty much held firm over the past 52 years: there’s a line. A player first has to establish himself as a worthy candidate and then disprove his detractors before receiving an MVP.

While there have been controversial winners recently, much more often than not, the victor has proven himself beyond a shadow of doubt because he has been denied in past votes and returned the following season to answer all questions concerning his candidacy. It’s a process established by the greatest players in NBA history. 14 times (Garnett ‘03, Duncan ‘01, K.Malone ‘98, Jordan ‘97, D.Robinson ‘94, Olajuwon ‘93, Jordan ‘87, Bird ‘83, Erving ‘80, Walton ‘77, McAdoo ‘74, Abdul-Jabbar ‘73, Reed ‘69, Russell ‘60) a player has finished second in the voting before moving on to capture the award the next year. 8 other times (Nowitzki ‘06, Jordan ‘90, M.Johnson ‘88, M.Johnson ‘86, Abdul-Jabbar ‘70, Russell ‘64, O.Robertson ‘63, Cousy ‘56) third place went on to receive their just due. And 5 times (Petit 4th in ‘58, Chamberlain 5th in ‘65, Abdul-Jabbar 5th in ‘75, Abdul-Jabbar 4th in ‘79, M.Malone 4th in ‘81) a player has been in the top 5 the year before winning the MVP. That’s 27 out of 52 times a top 5 player has had to bolster his case, be it through personal or team improvement before getting the nod. Every other time was a repeat or the winner has been 6th or lower on the previous ballot.

Except for five players. Five times in NBA history a player has won MVP without appearing on the previous years ballot. Wilt Chamberlain (23 years old averaging 37.6, 27.0 & 2.3) was 1960’s Rookie of the Year and the MVP, a feat duplicated by Wes Unseld (22 years old averaging 13.8, 18.2 & 2.6) in 1969. Dave Cowens (24 years old averaging 20.5, 16.2 & 4.1) won in 1973 (but there were only 5 people who even received votes the previous year) and Moses Malone (23 years old averaging 24.8, 17.6 & 1.8) came out of nowhere in 1979. Those are four stalwart post presences and proven championship cornerstones. The fifth player joined the list 26 years later and we all know who he is.

Steve F*cking Nash (30 years old averaging 15.5, 3.3 & 11.5).

This is the guy the CP34MVP camp are pointing to for precedent. One of-if not the-most unprecedented and contested MVPs in NBA history. After back to back MVPs, the first for turning the Suns around and the second for sustaining them through injuries, the voters finally placed the onus on Nash to make a Finals appearance before blessing him with a third. He still hasn’t been there and it still fuels the ire of his critics. And this is the guy who’s supposed to justify Chris Paul becoming sixth player ever to not appear on the previous years ballot? The youngest MVP ever? (Tied with Unseld at 22.) The third to win MVP with no post season experience? (Joining Wilt and Unseld) In one of the tightest races in recent memory?

Get the f*ck outta here.

Thing is, many were ready to deny Nash not because of his skin color, or his defense, but because of his position. Point guards, at least ones not named Johnson, simply didn’t win MVP. The last point to win the award before Magic was Bob Cousy back in 1957. Point guards historically haven’t won the award because they’re just not as versatile as the other positions on the floor. They don’t rebound as well. They can’t punish anyone in the post and before hand checking was outlawed they weren’t much of a threat in the paint. They can’t rise over a player from the perimeter as easily as others. They aren’t going to fly in from the weak side and block a shot or deny anyone at the rim. And quick as they are, the defensive pressure isn’t the same as that of a larger player. Point guards are the playmakers, the brains of an offense. They deserve more recognition, but they shouldn’t be winning MVP every other year because they simply can’t do as much.

No one does it alone and everyone benefits from the presence of better players, but while no one is more capable of “making teammates better”, no one is as dependent on their teammates as the point guard. But I’m supposed to ignore all of that because “nobody picked the Hornets to be on top of the Western Conference at the beginning of the season, they were 39-43 last year!” Well who picked the Lakers?! They only won three more games!

In fact, discussing personal and team progression-or regression-in itself (something practically everyone does…) continues to support the notion that this isn’t simply a ‘one year award’. This sh*t does not operate in a vacuum. If it did no one would hate Kobe Bryant. No one would still be shouting ‘Colorado!’ at him, no one would call him a ball hog, or say that his numbers have dipped.

For the past two years he’s heard how his lust for scoring has come at the cost of his teammates development, when in fact his teammates just weren’t ready and that was the reason Phil challenged Kobe to be the strike player in the offense rather than the facilitator. But now the revisionists are saying that Kobe is passing more because he’s trusting teammates who’ve always been capable, when in fact he’s trusting teammates who’ve finally become capable. These were primarily young (average age, 24) and inexperienced players learning an offense that even Hall of Fame players don’t grasp immediately. Word to Gary Payton. Sasha Vujacic? Jordan Farmar? Vladmir Radmonvic? Rony Turiaf? You’re telling me they were ready two years ago? Last year? I don’t believe that, you don’t believe it yourself.

This team was in absolute turmoil from the moment Kobe took to the podium after being burned by the Suns in the playoffs for the second consecutive year. Weeks later, his parking lot press conference only confirmed that he was thinking the same things that everyone else was. And what was it he said during that much discussed diatribe that was so abhorrent? “Ship his ass out of here”? Really? That’s it? “We’re talking about Jason Kidd”? We were! And more people than are now willing to admit agreed with him. In fact, a faction of management led by Jim Buss, questioned whether Phil Jackson needed to go. Not Kobe Bryant. The only thing most of them could agree on was that this team was not ready. And fans across the nation echoed that sentiment.

Months later Andrew Bynum was well on his way to MIP status before suffering a season ending injury and it’s difficult to believe that the 20 year old’s strong play wasn’t fueled by a determination to dismiss all naysayers who sided with Kobe. The same can be said of his other teammates who’ve raised their game collectively. (Minus Walton, everyones stats increased in a number of categories, particularly Farmar and Vujacic who’ve doubled their scoring.)

Team scoring and defense improved (from 103.3 & 103.4 to 108.4 & 101.5) which was particularly impressive considering that the team Pace Factor went up (from 93.5-8th to 95.6-6th). Their offensive rating which was already respectable (108.6-7th last year) moved even higher (112.8-3rd), due to less turnovers this year (1273 to 1128) and improved shooting percentages (46.6% to 47.6%) in spite of picking up the pace. But where this team showed true growth was on the defensive end, with an astronomical leap in their defensive rating (from 108.6-24th to 105.7-6th) that could take them from first round flameouts to certifiable contenders.

So as stupid as it probably was, the fact remains that Kobe publicly challenged his teammates and they responded. His will to win went from practically tearing the franchise apart to taking it further than anyone expected. In hindsight, he probably wasn’t MVP in either of the past two years, but the experience his teammates gained from those playoff appearances will be invaluable to them as they head into the post season this year. This is now a young and experienced team ready for the rigors of spring basketball because they’ve felt the pressure of a Game 7 and conquered what could be the toughest race in Conference history. Thanks in no small part to Kobe Bryant.

But there’s more than a few folks who want to explain all that away by saying Pau Gasol (18.9, 7.7 & 3.6). Really? That’s it? He’s only played in 26 games since arriving in mid-January and the team was 30-16 before he got there. Much is made of the run the team made after acquiring Gasol, but that stretch-in addition to the preceding and following ones-deserves a closer look.

In Gasol’s first 18 games as a Laker the team went 15-3, which is nothing to be ignored. But upon closer inspection, one would find that of those 18 games only 8 were against playoff teams and only 6 of those “playoff teams” were playing above .500 basketball (They played the ATL twice. 1,2,3…mediocrity!). In the ten games prior to Pau, the Lakers were also without Andrew Bynum and they went 5-5. For ten games following that 15-3 run, they were without Bynum and Pau and went 5-5 again. But during that twenty game stretch, fifteen of their opponents were playoff teams (dependent on the Denver/Golden State outcome this number would go down one or two games) and all fifteen of those teams were playing +.500 ball. That stretch should have killed their playoff positioning, especially in the ‘win or die’ West.

But Kobe Bryant wouldn’t let that happen. In the first ten games he raised his numbers across the board (33.6 ppg on 52.4% & 38.2% 3P, 7.9 rpg & 5.6 apg) and in the second ten games he raised everything except his shooting percentage (31.1 ppg on 42.1% & 35% 3P, 7.3 rpg & 5.6 apg), but that was probably because of the torn ligament in his shooting hand. Oh, and did I mention that he didn’t miss a game? Or that it’s still torn? Maybe things would’ve been worse if he sprained it, but that’s neither here nor there.

So Kobe subjugates his game for the good of the team (-2 FGA this season), seamlessly incorporates new players into a complex offense, won’t take a game off with a serious injury and steps his game up when everyone needs him. This all results in the marked team improvement (+14) that critics demanded he show in past MVP votes. How could he not be MVP? Could he have been any better? What else could he have done?

Maybe he should have been Kevin Garnett.

But I’ll get to him tomorrow. Or the next day. I still haven’t decided who should win. Not that it matters.

"We're Like Peas and Carrots..."

2007-08-14T17:04:00.000-06:00

Same shit, different place, same pay. I hope all of my readers come join me. I'd address the three of you personally if I knew your names...

Just because.

2007-07-31T23:44:00.000-06:00

Dear Summer...

2007-07-30T09:32:00.000-06:00

Countless American lives literally revolve around sports. Throughout sporting fandom, calendars are marked in anticipation of the new year. Their acquaintance of old memories is never forgotten, but replaced by new moments to treasure-or lament-with the annual drop of not a ball, but a puck. Or a kickoff, a tipoff, or a first pitch. Many Americans new year doesn’t begin with Dick Clark, but with Dick Vitale. Amidst the streets of several metropolitan areas seasonal changes are revealed by hats and jerseys as if they were leaves or grass.

Me? I’m practically in hibernation until I hear Marv Albert. This is a particularly strange time of year for me as a sports fan. Because lately, this time of year reminds me of what kind of sports fan I really am. July is summer movie season. It’s concert season, six foot bird watching season, the flu season playoffs, practically anything but baseball season. Unless I’m there, it just bores the shit outta me. And I won’t go just anywhere either.

I've spent the past decade of my life in and out of Minnesota, which has a very respectable baseball team. The Twins don't exactly have deep pockets, but they remain competitive through cultivating one of the leagues most distinguished farm systems. Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Tori Hunter and Johan Santana are all homegrown talent and unsurpassable representatives of their respective positions. That's the MVP, the batting champion, the "nightly web gem" and only the fifth unanimous Cy Young winner, all within the last ten years. But the Twins bore the shit outta me. They play in a garage.

I spent my childhood in Chicago with two miserable baseball teams and never questioned my allegiances. I was a Cubs fan. I loved everything about the Cubs. The roster, the uniforms, and even then I recognized and appreciated the harmless fatalism that one could enjoy as a Cubs fan. "Well, we lost. Again. But that sure was fun!" I became obsessive about baseball. I had drawers, shoeboxes, bookcases and closets full of baseball cards. I'd watch alot of the games that I couldn't go to on TV, and in eigth grade I joined the JV baseball team. That's when I realized I didn't know shit about baseball and why I really loved the Cubs. They play in Wrigley Field.

I had never stood in front of a real competitive fastball. I never knew any of the intricacies that comprised the game. I just knew who was good and could only provide superficial reasons why they were good. I didn't even like baseball cards that much, I just liked the idea of how much money they were worth. I wasn't a baseball fan, I was just a Cubs fan. I was barely a Cubs fan, I was just a fan of Cubs baseball. I still am.

Whenever I make it back home I try to catch a game. The brick, ivy, and intimate residential neighborhood setting make Clark & Addison one of America's best places to spend a summer afternoon. But it's the retro scoreboard, the bleacher bums, and the seventh inning stretch that make it a unique sporting experience and a reminder of why baseball is still Chicago's pastime. Sitting along Wrigley's third base line on a hot day, with a cold brew, good friends and plenty of ladies are fond memories. Not just of mine, but countless others I've never met-many of a day in which I wasn't even alive. Despite a hundred years of futility, we are bound not by a woeful disdain, but by an appreciation of time well spent. See if you can generate that kind of warmth from four generations of Phillies fans.

However that leisurely pace doesn't make captivating television. I haven't watched an entire game in four years. It bores the shit outta me. The players stand still more than they move and the games last forever. The endless procession of foul balls, pickoff attempts, mound visits and pitching substitutions could cure even the most hopeless of insomiacs. Honestly, how many videos have we seen of adults slumped over and drooling at the ballpark? So I wouldn't stand a chance against the narcoleptic influence of midsummer baseball within the friendly confines of my living room. I'd rather rent a movie.

continued...

More Life Lessons..."What Percentage of the Time?"

2007-07-27T17:09:00.000-06:00

First, some classic advice on fashion, fine dining and frontin' from Mr. Starks...

I've never owned a pair of Wallys in my life, they look like they were made for elves. But anyone with five bucks and hunger pangs would give Ghost's gourmet four stars. Although there was no mention of Ramen noodles. You could get a weeks supply for $3.00!

And for all you sharks who wanna bite Tony's sex game, I'd say it's about 37% of the time....

Jacked from Nah Right.

...Holding hands? And people say hip hop is misogynistic.

Life Lessons...

2007-07-13T09:40:00.000-06:00

So I was at the bar last night with a friend of mine and he invited two girls to join us. Actually, scratch that, they invited themselves. Regardless, my friend decided to buy us all some shots and when the time came to toast, I noticed all of the Mexicans in the room and decided to make a slightly distasteful joke, cause well, that's what I do. "To Lou Dobbs..."

*Crickets*

Long story short, there are now two girls in southwestern Minnesota who think that Lou Dobbs is the starting tailback for the Green Bay Packers.

Ladies, this one's for you....

From the good folks @ Dallas Penn

It Was Inevitable Withdrawal...

2007-06-28T10:11:00.000-06:00

I'll be back soon...

Their Kind of Town?

2007-06-18T01:33:00.000-06:00

“I’m so outta here. They forget my contract is up soon too…This wasn’t bad for a while, I didn’t have to do much, I made twice the money I would’ve if I’d taken that front office gig and this might give me a legitamate excuse to retire before they try and expose me for not developing talent. Again. These kids don’t listen anyway, which is exactly why I wanted veterans. They’re hungry, they just need direction, not a damn babysitter. I tried to give Kwame ‘The Joy of Cooking’, something, anything to get the boy to use his damn hands and what does he do? Maybe I shouldn’t have called him a pussy, but who the hell throws cakes at people anyway, is this candid camera? Damn, I’m really dating myself there. Wonder what Red would do in this situation…. Why is Kobe the last to know about Buss’ intentions anyway? I told the whole damn world in my book. That kid should’ve gone to college if only to learn when he’s being manipulated…. I can’t blame Kobe again, can I? Or should I just start discrediting Skiles and Isiah? They aren’t championship coaches, I am….Actually, is there any way we can get Gordon and Deng, then Arenas next summer? Gil would eat this Zen shit up…”

“When Magic demanded a trade, I just fired Westhead…Nah…What was I thinking? Why would I let Jim deem Bynum untouchable and let Kupchack pass on every one of the kid’s suggestions? Who did Davis get traded for again? Speedy Claxton? Damn, that made us look dumb. Or deceitful. Like I was just using the kid to sell tix and avoid the luxury tax by developing young players. Is that what I was trying to do? And how would it have worked anyway if I gave him an option and that damn no trade clause? And where the hell is that waitress with my drink? And didn’t I tell whatshername to get me one too? Doesn’t anyone around here speak English? Spain. Never again….Maybe I actually should trade him. What are our chances of improving to his satisfaction before he can opt out in a couple of years and we get nothing? And he has to know that he tied our hands to negotiate with other teams. Who would trade anything to help a team with a disgruntled superstar, when they could manage their cap over the next two years and possibly sign that superstar? He’s the only player we can trade now, might as well move him while his value’s at it’s peak. This is a good draft, Chicago has that lottery pick and P.J. Brown’s expiring contract. And I do like that Zero Hero, I wonder what he’d want….I wonder if any of these girls can drive a stick….”

“..............Is Sonic open 24/7? I could really use one of those smoothies...........I miss Jerry West, he loved smoothies and he was so nice to me..............You know who else probably likes smoothies? That kid Sebastian Telfair....................Yeah, he’d be a good fit here, maybe that’d get Phil to lighten up a bit..................Gosh, he can be a real jerk when he doesn’t get his way, what did I ever do to him?...........I’ve gotta stop thinking so much, I’m gonna burn myself out...............................................What time is it anyway, am I missing ‘John From Cincinnati’?............I’ve got to learn how to work that damn Tivo...........................Man, this is a pretty good show. I wonder if he’ll heal that boy’s spine next week............. I can’t wait, not much else on TV this summer, makes it tough to find good conversation at the office..........Okay, relax, then smoothies, then Telfair..............Zzzzzz...”

“God, these Finals were a disaster. The kid could’ve at least made it interesting…. Kobe getting traded would restore a balance between the two Conferences and stop all this nonsense about realignment or reseeding. What the hell do they think this is, football? That reminds me, I need to fine Gooden for that neck goatee of his. I can do that right? Damn right I can! Plus LeBron, Wade and Kobe in the same conference would settle all this ‘Next Jordan’ talk unequivocally. All of them battling each other four times a year? It’d certainly give Shaq somehting to talk about for a while, I’m worried about him. Yeah, this is starting to sound good. People might not complain as much about Durant and Oden on so late if they had Chicago v. Miami as an appetizer. Actually, maybe Kobe could fix the Knicks? Nah, not until Isiah’s gone, that would be a disaster…. What am I going to do about him? Chicago is probably best, that Jordan story has legs. Long legs. Money too.... Where’s my phone?”

“That call is coming soon. The pieces I’d have to give up to get K.G. would leave us without a dependable scorer and this team still wouldn’t have a definitive leader where we need it. I love Kevin, but once Gordon is gone, would he carry us through our scoring droughts, which are far too frequent? Would he take over the fourth quarter for us? Or would we have lost all of our youth, maxed out our cap and have not gotten any better where we need to? I’m just not sure about him and Ben certainly isn’t gonna put any points on the board either. I give up our lottery pick, Gordon, Deng, P.J.’s contract, and Duhon and we’ve still got enough to compete. I think that would satisfy L.A. too, besides they’re probably already sizing Arenas up as a replacement anyway. Hinrich, Kobe, Nocioni, Tyrus and Wallace could win the Conference next year if we could pick up a decent sixth man with our mid-level exemption. Cleveland showed what a defensive minded team with an explosive scorer can do. If LeBron had a perimeter game, Cleveland had a real shot in that series. Now it’s our turn. I’m glad we made the hard sell to the kid when he was a free agent. He knows we’re committed and that’ll play big in his decision making. He’d want to be here anyway. It’s the only way he’ll ever truly redeem himself, coming in here and overtly challenging Michael’s legacy. I think he can do it too. This is gonna happen, I can’t believe it. Where’s my phone? I gotta thank Isiah...”

August 25, 2007...

2007-06-17T02:21:00.000-06:00

...will be one of the greatest days of my life.

Untitled?

2007-06-13T01:52:00.000-06:00

Thank God it’s over. What?! One more?!

Can’t we just, um, fade to black?

This is no longer about the Cavaliers ‘learning experiences’. They got here on a fluke and Anderson Varejao’s next ill advised shots will only be to keep Cleveland from being swept. If they learned anything, it’d be that things work out better when the ball goes in the basket. This isn’t even about the premature crowning of LeBron James. The King’s reign is on hiatus after an anti-climactic performance in these Finals and an unpromised encore. If he learned anything, it’d be that things work out better when he puts the ball in the basket.

For now, this is about one thing: *

Yeah, that thing again.

After the dust settled in the 80’s only two teams were left standing, Magic’s Lakers and Bird’s Celtics. Boston had certainly maintained it’s reputation as a perennial contender with five trips to the Finals and three victories, but L.A. was the team of the decade. Showtime made eight Finals appearances from ‘80-’89, with five championships and the league’s first repeat in 19 years. They were a dynasty.

The Bad Boys back to back on the heels of this rivalry established Detroit as a great team, but they would merely serve as history’s prelude for the Bulls. Michael Jordan’s shadow loomed so large over the NBA from ‘91-’98 that his absence cloaked Houston’s consecutive championships in doubt. He separated himself from his predecessors with the league’s first threepeat in 27 years. Then he retired, came back, and did it again. Chicago witnessed a dynasty.

After the dust settled in the Staples Center only one man was left standing, Kobe Bryant. But before Star Wars went nuclear, Bryant, Shaq and Phil maintained a brief, but convincing rule over the league. Three straight titles is a dynasty. Right?

Then there’s the Spurs. And the lockout. And the fallout from Star Wars. And a Game 7 with Detroit. And no matter who you blame, there will always be this year’s suspensions heard ’round the world.

The San Antonio Spurs have proven themselves to be the leagues preeminent franchise yet again, but is this a dynasty?

Discuss. And don’t forget to turn the lights off on the way out.

Better Than Sex...

2007-06-08T16:34:00.000-06:00

...or at least better than her sex tape.

Update: Better than the Finals too.

NBA Finals Preview.

2007-06-06T12:57:00.000-06:00

What To Look For: The San Antonio Spurs are a very good basketball team and could in fact be the best of the past decade. Tim Duncan is a very good basketball player and could in fact be the best to ever play his position. The preceding sentences were structurally sound and served their purpose efficiently. But they were also fucking dull. Their measured and repetitious approach undermine the potency of their contents. Unlike the aforementioned sentences, the Spurs potency is due to their measured and repetitious approach. But they’re considered dull too. As the decade nears it’s end, Duncan & the Spurs have a fourth title within their grasp but the reverence of such dominanace remains at a distance. There are no accolades in fighting through screens and commiting to transition defense. There’s no difference on the scoreboard between a crisp bank shot and a rim rattling dunk. But there is one to the fans. Because of that, the Spurs have been buried underneath the red carpet rolled out for LeBron James. Will these NBA Finals be a coronation of the Air apparent or is San Antonio determined to prove that the King has no clothes?

San Antonio Strengths/Weaknesses: The Spurs are well equipped for any necessary adjustments in this series. They’re the deeper, more disciplined team and their familiarity with the big stage will allow them to get right down to business. Duncan’s unrivaled post game along with Parker and Ginobli’s penetration remain the catalysts for their offense, but as always, the Spurs pride themselves on the other end of the court. The quickness of their backcourt supplements Bowen and Duncan’s smothering defense and finishes off the subsequent fast break. San An’s strength is in their collective will to deny the opponent and create for each other. The only apparent weaknesses are in their underwhelming free throw shooting and inconsistent rebounding, partially due to their dearth of big men.

Cleveland Strengths/Weaknesses: The Detroit Pistons spent a majority of the Eastern Conference Finals arguing with each other, but they could all agree on one thing. The Cavs defense is for real. The size and moblility of Cleveland’s frontcourt allows them to adeptly contest shots, fill passing lanes, cut off penetration and secure several boards. This is a team that is not scored on easily. Which is good for them, because they certainly don’t score very easily themselves. Most of the players on this team are offensively limited and all of them are streaky shooters. What the Cavs need is someone who can force the defense to react and can create some easy shots. Oh, right. Despite his affinity for the perimeter, Zydrunas Ilgauskas has been a consistent presence in the paint with his offensive rebounding and his passing is an asset when the offense actually moves.

How They Match Up: If Larry Hughes can effectively play through the pain of his plantar fasciatis, his size and ball handling at the point would help open up the Cavs offense. He can post Parker up, but more importantly, he would keep LeBron off the ball so that the defense won’t be able to focus in on James so easily. Then Bron could attack the basket as a cutter and be more of a threat coming off of screeens and making the easy assist as the defense collapses. If he comes off the dribble, the Spurs will have to send help which only opens up the lanes and gives Cleveland’s shooters better positioning and more time. LeBron James is going to have to ask his teammates every night, “Who else wants to be a star?” The supplementary and second chance baskets that Ilgauskas can provide in the half court are important for the Cavs. If he’s going to extend himself to the perimeter to draw out his defender, then he has to make the shot or the right pass to keep the D honest. Otherwise, he’s just making it easier for the Spurs. Ditto for Drew Gooden. It’s also important for the Cavs to limit Parker and Ginobli’s drives to the basket. If they’re allowed to run free alongside Duncan’s inside/out game, it would shatter the Cleveland’s defense. But with the full court pressure they exhibted during their regular season matchups, the Cavs have shown they can frustrate the Spurs into low-scoring slugfests that Bron can take over in the fourth.

The X Factor(s): The refs. We all remember last year’s Finals. And Joey Crawford. And Manu’s free throw exhibition in Utah. What are we in store for now? This is going to be a physical matchup between two defensive stalwarts with plenty of flopping, whining and finger pointing. Officiating will decide at least a game in this series, and it could be the pivotal one.

Series Prediction: San Antonio has a very good basketball team and they could in fact, be the best of the past decade. Spurs in six.

Heaven Is A Closet.

2007-06-03T10:07:00.000-06:00

fetish [fet-ish, fee-tish]
-noun
1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification depends to an abnormal degree on some object or item of clothing or part of the body; "common male fetishes are breasts, legs, hair, shoes, and underwear"
2. a charm superstitiously believed to embody magical powers [syn: juju]
3. excessive or irrational devotion to some activity; "made a fetish of cleanliness"

The Raging Inferno.

2007-05-31T23:08:00.000-06:00

I'm speechless. Seriously.

"We Only Said Goodbye With Words..."

2007-05-31T14:41:00.000-06:00

Congratulations. On the Stones cover and that new/old man too.

"...I died a hundred times. You go back to him and I go back to..."

Memorial Day.

2007-05-31T05:34:00.000-06:00

This ‘aint over.

He’s never been a sympathetic figure. But many of the things he’s done have been in pursuit of becoming the best basketball player he could be, the best basketball player ever. He feels as though it’s his turn, it’s his destiny.

Kobe Bryant is going to get what he wants. He just doesn’t know where yet. Half-hearted ultimatums and retractions aside, his 48 hour media blitzkrieg effectively granted the Lakers a two year amnesty. Chip or bust. Get down or lay down. Three years after his free agency loomed over the franchise, he’s proven he’s still in control and now everyone knows it. Which is why it’s time to trade him before it’s too late.

Long before him, basketball has been a stars game. One player can’t win titles alone, but he’ll get you damn close and so it’s only prudent to build around that star. Especially if he sells tickets. Therein lies a problem with all professional sports, but primarily in the NBA. The goal of the game is to win, but the goal of a business is to make money and the two agendas often intersect with disastrous results. This has held true for both the players and their respective franchises over the years. But even in a league of free agency with big salaries and big market benefits, to some, there’s still no substitute for winning.

The NBA is tough. Playing basketball 24/7 sounds like a dream to most, but the rigors of constant training, traveling and trades are very real and only truly known by professionals. Which is why it’s easy to see how some of them can grow fat on their success. A deeper hunger is needed from a player who seeks not only to improve or succeed, but to leave an imprint on the game itself. It’s the hunger to dominate. Just as Michael Jordan used Magic and Bird as a constant motivation long past their declines, Kobe has been chasing him. They all know they’re not truly the successor until they’ve out-achieved their predecessors. Everything Kobe’s done has been in pursuit of that lineage. Which is why he feels so betrayed by what is perceived to have been a con by Laker management.

The writing was all over the walls of Staples Center in the summer of ‘04. After a Finals upset by Detroit Kobe’s intrinsic value was still readily apparent, but his public perception was at an all-time low. The rape charges and internal feuding had taken their toll on him and he had begun to feel as though it was time for a change. He knew he’d never be considered a true great while playing in Shaq’s shadow and under Phil’s thumb. Management also knew this and while their rivalry may have weighed on his resigning with the Lakers, according to Kobe, it had very little to do with Shaq’s departure. Despite an impressive Finals performance, Shaq was clearly entering a decline and extending him would only be a burden on the salary cap as he regressed in his later years. So Jerry Buss made it clear to Kobe that regardless of his impending free agency decision, O’Neal was gone.

“He told me he wanted to trade Shaquille. He didn’t want to pay the $30 million or whatever it was. He felt he was getting older and it was time to trade him. He said, `I don’t care what you decide to do. I’m letting you know that I’ve decided to let (O’Neal) go. Now I hear that a Laker insider is saying this. Now I’ve got serious trust issues. They know I had nothing to do with that. Jerry Buss knows it. He called me on the eve of me making my decision, from his vacation in Italy.”-Kobe Bryant, 570AM w/ Petros and Money

But Kobe still had his reservations. Yes, the franchise had accommodated him throughout his trials, but he had always given them his best and the time had come for him to consider his future. Winning was the only answer to his problems and he wasn’t sure he could do that with the Lakers. Again, Buss reassured him.

“That’s the call that really swayed me. If you look at all the teams that have been quote-unquote dynasties, it normally takes about nine or 10 years to rebuild. That was my concern when I spoke with Dr. Buss. I said, `Are you guys on a nine- or 10-year plan? Are you on a long-term plan?’ Or do you want to try to rebuild this team right away and be aggressive. … That was my No. 1 concern, and he promised me that they would do whatever they can to go out and get players. They were going to be extremely aggressive. They are going to rebuild right now. This is not something where they wanted to wait. They wanted to get back to a championship level right now. That swayed my decision. I was leaning toward going to Chicago, and the Clippers as well, just for the fact that it was a new challenge and they have players that I’ve known for a while. … I wanted to play for the Lakers, and Jerry Buss called me from his vacation in Italy and promised that they wanted to rebuild right now. I trusted that promise and went with them.”

Who would deny Jerry Buss if he said he was committed to continuing the tradition of Laker excellence? Who would want to play with a guy who made no secret of his animosity towards their ambition? Not him.

Only now he realizes he’s been used. By everyone.

[on being blamed for the Shaquille O’Neal trade] “I’ve had many media people come up to me and say, `You know the Lakers are having you take the bullet for this one, right?’ I just shrugged it off, because it was about moving forward. Now when I see that a `Laker insider’ says I ran Shaq off, OK, now I’ve got a serious issue with that. I took it in stride the first time, because I assumed it was just talk. Now I find out that it’s coming from Laker insiders. Now I’ve got serious issues. I’m speaking my mind, because I’m not taking the bullet for something I did not say or did not do.”

[on the rebuilding process] “For the past few years, I’ve been meeting with Mitch and Dr. Buss in the offseason, talking to them about players. Most of the players call me, because I know most of them. Baron Davis called me and indicated he wanted to come out here and hoop with us. Same thing with Carlos Boozer. Same thing with Ron Artest. My response to them has been, `You know what? I love it. Let me call you back. I’m going to call Mitch and see what I can do. Let me (call) you back.’ Every time I had to call back and say they didn’t want to do it because of this or that. In Baron’s case it was because he was injury prone. In Carlos Boozer’s case it was because he can’t guard forwards. It was always something. Then they traded my man, Caron Butler, which made me feel terrible because he and I had been working out that whole summer. … Then I get a call, telling me that he’s been traded. They were asking me about my thoughts on that, and I said, `Why are you asking me my thoughts now? You already did the trade?’ Through all of these three years, and the time it’s taking to rebuild, enough is enough. That’s why I’ve been very vocal.”

Kobe felt as though he had some control and so did everyone else. Which is just what they wanted. But in light of recent events, the question has to be asked; if Kobe really did hold that much influence over the organization as to personally have O’Neal and Jackson jettisoned, then why didn’t it extend to acquiring Baron, Boozer, Butler or Artest? The answer appears to be that the Lakers never planned on spending any money. Management knew Kobe would be seen as a tyrant who banished two of the game’s treasures and it suited their agenda perfectly. The longer that he was nationally deemed the cause of the Lakers failures, the longer it allowed them to rescind spending to get back under the salary cap and luxury tax. Which meant not resigning Shaq or trading for players of ‘questionable value’. Local fans could be sustained by Kobe and the promise of a bright future, which was the integral piece to the team and the franchise moving through a transitional period as Buss nears retirement. He’s certain to pass control of the organization down to his children, Jim and Jeanie, whose quarrels on L.A. radio over the teams direction lit the fuse leading to Kobe’s bombshell.

The common thread throughout all of this? Phil Jackson.

Jim’s nurturing of prodigy Andrew Bynum has long been evidence of the Lakers commitment to a youth movement and his comments questioning Phil’s ability to foster it have been a point of contention for weeks within the front offices. Jackson chastised his students all year in the press and Jim wondered aloud whether this was best for a team in it’s developmental stages. Jackson, with his preference for hungry veterans, had always been critical of young players and the consequences of their immaturities. He was quoted as being less than impressed with his roster’s predilection for porn and video games and claimed that Jesus Christ himself couldn’t save them. There was an obvious rift between the coach and upper management.

Of course the coach also lives with upper management. After Jeanie Buss and assistant coach Kurt Rambis sounded off on Jim’s criticism of the Zen Master, it was clear that the power struggle of the Laker front offices had spilled into public view. Enter Ric Bucher, Stephen A. Smith and anyone else with a microphone breathlessly awaiting Kobe’s assessment of the situation. He probably would’ve gone on Imus if it were possible.

His solution? Bring back Jerry West. Not gonna happen. And why did West leave in the first place? Phil Jackson. Who prompted Kobe’s outbursts with tales of management’s long term rebuilding plans? Phil Jackson. Who reasoned with Kobe and averted another Hollywood breakup? Phil Jackson. Who was ultimately responsible for the first breakup? Phil Jackson.

It was Phil who ruffled West’s majestic feathers. It was Phil who was entrusted to end Star Wars, but chose to exacerbate the situation. It was Phil who left Kobe to the heavy lifting after he had dismissed the current roster as dead weight. It was Phil who coerced Kobe into speaking on his behalf when he had no leverage and when that talk pushed Kobe where he couldn’t follow, it was Phil who reigned him back in. It’s Phil who is looking for another title and another multi-year, multi-million extension. Phil Jackson has long been derided as a coach who manages talent rather than nourishing it and if Kobe were to leave Los Angeles, Jackson would be exposed for attack. He was the one who was brought back to placate Kobe and once again, he is the one mainpulating Kobe. He deserves as much as much of the blame for this as Jerry Buss. It's Phil Jackson who is selfish and avoiding his comeuppance.

Kobe’s rumored destination? Chicago, hungry for past glory after a controversial rebuilding process and the tumultuous departure of, um, Phil Jackson.

But no matter what he whispers in Kobe's ear, Phil Jackson can’t save the Lakers. Not soon enough. And as Kobe continues to age at a rate belied by his years, today will haunt the franchise until he puts pen to another contract. He now feels as though he’s been slighted by the entire organization and isn’t likely to forget it. How long can the Lakers delay the inevitable? With a trade veto and the clock ticking, Kobe Bryant is going to get what he wants, he just doesn’t know when yet.

When Will I See You Again?

2007-05-28T07:43:00.000-06:00

"It's probably the biggest game of my life and the biggest game ever for this organization, and I have to go out there and recognize it." -LeBron James, before Game 3.

Maybe this was why so many have been critical of LeBron James performance this postseason. He has the potential for this every night, yet we only see it intermittently. And yes, he's only 22, but the number in question is 23.

We've all noticed the homages to Michael Jordan in his number, his pregame routines and even in his commercials, but it would be nice to see it more often in his game. Of course there's the familiar refrain of "He's more Magic than Michael.", but LeBron made his choice and he realizes the near impossible standard he's being measured against. Jordan was acutely aware of the heightened expectations his play garnered and he continually bounded over them. That is the only part of Money's persona James should be concerned with emulating.

Bron took a big step forward last night. Now he has to find a way to do it again.

Deja Vu.

2007-05-24T23:40:00.000-06:00

We just saw what we already knew.

Again.

Mike Brown, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers just aren’t ready.

Cleveland is no longer in New Jersey where the Cavs roamed freely about the paint and dominated the glass. They’re in Detroit, where the backups backup will come in and score at will against their soft and inexperienced front court. Jason Maxiell provided the timely baskets that Detroit needed while spelling Roscoe and the Cavs had no answers from their starters. Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Drew Gooden had a combined seven points and eight rebounds tonight, out produced by their own backup, Anderson Varejao who labored for 14 &14. Their collective reluctance to execute on the blocks and an unhealthy dependency on jumpshots leaves the team without another reliable scoring option, which makes it all the easier for Detroit to defend LeBron James.

Bron attacked the basket early and often in the first half and his penetration put the Pistons at a disadvantage. He seized upon their defensive indecision, dishing and dunking the Cavs to a twelve point halftime lead. But his offensive limitations were revealed when Detroit began to consistently shadow him with a help defender. His driving lanes were shut down and with no jumper to fall back on, he forced passes which quickly became turnovers. The second half offense was stagnant and predictable, isolation plays that went nowhere. Detroits team defense is too skilled and aware for them to be beaten by Bron off the bounce and they simply watched him dribble away the shot clock before collapsing on him. Cleveland continued to flail away from three instead of nourishing their halftime lead and suffered through an eight minute drought which kept the Pistons around.

Then he did it again. This time ahead by one, with a chance to extend a lead, LeBron attacks the basket and draws a cluster of white jerseys. As he and the primary defender both left their feet, Bron had a prime opportunity to draw contact and a whistle by attempting a shot at the rim. Instead, he passed out to Sasha Pavlovic, who wasn’t ready to shoot and traveled. Thirty seconds earlier, he missed the first of two free throws. Coincidence? I think not.

Rasheed Wallace recognized and exploited his mismatch with Varejao throughout the fourth and put Detroit ahead with a clutch fallaway over James. Instead of going for a quick two and fouling to extend the game, Mike Brown, who had wasted all of his timeouts anyway, called another isolation play for his star. After pushing off of Richard Hamilton to get a step, LeBron spun directly into his outstretched arms in a weak attempt to draw a foul and was denied. As if. The Cavs scrambled for two more attempts, but the game was sealed with a technical foul on an incredulous Coach Brown as the King was left shaking his heavy head.

Cleveland loses 79-76. Again.

And Detroit hasn’t even played well yet.

*And no Cleveland, you don't get to complain about the refs unless you're also gonna acknowledge that Bron should've been suspended.

Twenty Three Years Later...

2007-05-22T23:17:00.001-06:00

The last time the Portland Trailblazers passed on a college phenom because the respective position was filled, they missed out on Michael Jordan.

Lets hope it doesn’t happen again.

The Blazers are already stocked with post players and they could use talent at the swingman. But if GM Kevin Pritchard knows what’s good for him, he’ll take the phone off the hook and ignore any trade offers or advice to draft Kevin Durant. No, Durant isn’t Sam Bowie, but Greg Oden is the only answer. Even if the team is swollen at that spot, draft the best player and work it out afterwards. It’s better to have him and be able to make a trade later than to regret not having drafted him at all. Does anyone think that Oden’s value is going anywhere but up? So pick him and experiment.

No matter how much the game may open up in the next decade, Oden has the athleticism and skill set to keep up and is certainly equipped to dominate the half court game. He has the wingspan and mobility of a condor and pairing him with another seven foot wunderkind in LaMarcus Aldridge gives Portland a frontcourt that could feast on the Western Conference well into the future. Zach Randolph has elevated his game to All-Star status, which is why there’s no better time to trade him. No matter how far he’s come, he’s still the expendable player in this situation. Just as Ricky Davis was jettisoned far from an impressionable LeBron James, Z-Bo and Darius Miles should be shopped to officially end the Jailblazers era. Headcases that they are, they’d still fetch some spare parts and a quality point guard to complete the backcourt alongside Brandon R.O.Y. Jason Kidd? Mike Bibby? Jason Terry? Mike Conley? This could be a playoff team next year. Best believe Bill Walton broke out the special stash tonight.

And it was all shitty just a week ago. The Sonics had no GM or a head coach and looked as though their next playoff appearance wasn’t even going to be in Seattle. Owner Clay Bennett wasn’t getting the legislative support he needed for a new stadium and was involved in an increasingly bitter relationship with the media. Assuming that everyone will be more inclined to work things out now, the team should have their pick of coaching and managment talent to steer them deep into the playoffs. If they choose to re-sign Rashard Lewis, with Durant and Ray Allen the Sonics would have the personnel to rip and run with the best of ‘em.

Who didn’t fax their resume into Seattle front offices tonight?

But who knows what will happen in the upcoming weeks? Except that which was already promised to be an eventful offseason just got all the more interesting. We’re heading into a summer with Chauncey Billups, Vince Carter and Jermaine O’Neal on the market and Shawn Marion, Jason Kidd, Pau Gasol and Kevin Garnett (allegedly) on the trading block.

Specualte to your heart’s content, just know that Durant and Oden will both end up with the swoosh. Some things are just meant to be.

Women I Would Settle For, Vol. VI, "Now How You Gonna Go And Do That?"

2007-05-21T07:44:00.000-06:00

This is supposed to be the definitive list of sexies and she doesn't even make the Top 100, but Fuggie is in the Top 10?!

No wonder I don't read that shitty magazine.

Podoloff's Box? Part I.

2007-05-11T19:06:00.000-06:00

val·u·a·ble [val-yoo-uh-buhl]–adjective
1. having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price: a valuable painting; a valuable crop.
2. having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem: a valuable friend.
3. of considerable use, service, or importance: a valuable player.
4. apparently not Jerry West. (But he got the logo, so it's all good.)

NBA greats are a unique breed in the sporting pantheon. No athlete can impose pure will on his respective sport like a basketball player. There’s no disconnect between offense and defense, which gives a player more influence over his teammates on both sides of the ball. They’re the only athletes who can make a play for the crucial score and inasplitsecond make a stop that seals the win. In fact, most times they are expected to. Basketball players carry a heavier burden than their contemporaries. This is what makes the NBA’s Most Valuable Player so special. A Podoloff Trophy is the mark of greatness.

How is greatness measured? By the media. Every year, 125 pen, pad and agenda carrying sportswriters and broadcasters-with legends to build and stories to sell-decide upon whom to bestow the game’s crowning individual achievement. Truth is, if you locked those guys in a room a until they could decide upon a criterion for the award, they’d die in there. The MVP is a popularity contest, an award for modern marvels and sentimental favorites. Analysis of voting totals over the past twenty plus years reveal neither rhyme nor reason. There are numerous instances of both personal and team improvement having been in vain, while post and perimeter players are alternately fawned over and ignored. Players in contention are expected to take their teams to the postseason, yet postseason play doesn’t factor in the award? Practically every year reflects a different rhetoric.

So what is the formula? Carpe diem. Since 1984 there have been a dozen different Podoloff winners. Three men laced ‘em up and forged their own destines. Others labored to receive their due recognition. There were a couple guys you couldn’t help but love, and a few just got fucked over. Using the playoffs as a litmus test, let’s reminisce...

Before him, when a player was trapped in the post by an aggressive double team, he either passed the ball into a corner, called a timeout, or forced a shot. He didn’t throw it blindly over his head and through the outstretched arms of the defense directly to a teammate under the basket for an easy bucket. Before Earvin Johnson the game had flair, but no Magic.

His lengthy 6′9″ frame inhaled rebounds, his vision and dexterity maneuvered the court in bullet time, and his immaculate touch blessed those passes which always found a teammates hands in the shooting position. But it was his smile that explained it all. It was that smile that said, “I didn’t go behind my back for a lookaway pass to show off, I did it cause the defender in front of the hoop was trying to deny me the left, and it was the best way for me to hit my streaking teammate on the right without the D being the wiser.”

Before him, when a 6′10″ forward attacked the baseline only to be met midair by the extended arms of the opposing center, he either got blocked or traveled. He didn’t toss the ball overhead off the backboard, box out the center during his landing, catch the pass-to himself-and finish off the play with an easy lay in. Larry Bird was pretty good his damn self.

His size made him a post presence and he only needed the smallest window of space to get his shot off thanks to those thick, strong, wrists but other than that, he played a game of athleticism with no physical gifts. Regardless, he dominated with an ease and confidence of men with twice his ability. Actually, calling it confidence is an understatement. “In your fucking face” might have been his middle name. Bird’s perpetual swagger was that of a man who had immersed himself in the game, a man who had seen and done it all. So whether he was tiptoeing the baseline-behind the backboard-or was trapped in a corner behind a double team, when he shot it over them, he knew it was going in. And he’d let you know too, before, and after it happened.

Their impact was immediate and widespread. They not only improved their respective teams, together they changed the game and saved the league.

It was almost cruel to choose between them, but from the beginning, to the powers that be Bird was the word. French Lick’s finest had bested Buck to capture Rookie of the Year in 1980, and finished fourth in that years MVP balloting. The winner? Magic’s supposed benefactor, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, whose scoring went up a point (23.8 to 24.8), but averaged two less boards and one less assist per game than the previous year (12.8 & 5.4 to 10.8 & 4.5). After replacing his injured center in an unforgettable Game 6, Johnson won his first Finals MVP, but wouldn’t crack the top five on the regular season ballot until 1983.

He was sidelined by an injured knee in ‘81 resulting in only 37 games, and was besmirched by scandal in ‘82 after demanding a trade. Instead, Jerry Buss fired coach Paul Westhead, who favored a more conservative offense over Magic’s freewheeling play, and entrusted another visionary in Pat Riley. The Lakers regrouped and won 57 games in(50-21 w/ Riley) ‘82, best in the West, but the damage to Magic’s image had been done. He missed a triple double average by fractions (18.6, 9.6, 9.5), jacked a lig leading 2.7 steals, and it didn’t matter at all. The man finished eighth. He’d have to settle for another chip, and another Finals MVP.

Since the addition of Robert Parish & Kevin McHale in ‘81 (Championship year), Larry Bird was the MVP runner-up for three straight years. He claimed his first Podoloff in ‘84 and promptly propelled the Celtics into the Finals for the second time. Magic Johnson had three Finals appearances, two rings and two Finals MVP awards when he collided with his nemesis in the 1984 NBA Finals, but Bird was still seen as the better-and more valuable-player.

1984 NBA Finals, Game 7, Lakers @ Celtics

Magic didn’t do enough to change that perception.

1984-85-The Celtics (63-19) and Lakers (62-20) marched through the regular season towards the inevitable Finals rematch. Haunted by the mistakes of last year’s Finals, Magic answered critics questions about his leadership with a healthier season of increased scoring(18.3,6.2,12.6) as the Lakers took the West for the fourth straight year. Bird responded with career highs in points and assists, (28.7,10.5,6.6) including a 60 point masterpiece-only the 10th player in league history to do so.

Terry Cummings (23.6,9.1,2.9), Moses Malone (24.6,13.1,1.6), and Alex English (27.9,5.7,4.2) led the Bucks (59-23,+9 games), Sixers (58-24,+6 games) and Nuggets (52-30,+14 games) respectively as the league’s only other 50+ win teams. What could have been a close race turned out to be a landslide for Bird.

Four of the league’s top five clubs had teammates that received votes. Even the 24-58 Knicks squeezed two guys in. How is Bird the only Celtic? McHale (19.9,9.0,1.8) and Parish (17.6,10.6,1.6) were hardly slacking.

Why wasn’t Magic similarly recognized as the de facto leader of the Lakers? Was it Bird’s scoring?

English & Natt combined to make the Nuggets the league’s most improved team and won their division. Where’s the love? Especially when there’s two Bucks in the top ten?

Bird probably should have won, but by so much? Magic gets only one first place vote? Even the rookie got two!

What happened when the immovable object met the irresistible force? Magic Johnson earned the first Honorary T.R.O.Y. Retroactive M.V.P.

1985 NBA Finals, Game 6, Lakers @ Celtics

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar may have been the MVP of this series, but he was also 37 years old at the time. His performance was certainly worthy, but primarily ceremonial. He became the playoffs all time leading scorer during the series and the cognoscenti were feeling nostalgic. The man was past his prime and everyone knew it. Magic was the driving force behind that team, he was Showtime. He was the one who had improved his already exceptional game, resulting in an eight game improvement in the win column. He was the one with demons to face. Who would’ve shouldered the blame if the Lakers lost again? So let him reap the benefits. The Memorial Day Massacre should have crippled their confidence. Instead they became the first-and only-visiting team to celebrate a chip in Boston Garden. Kareem was a workhorse, no doubt, but Magic (15 APG in the Finals!) was the glue that held the team together.

1985-86-Not much of a contest. Widely considered to be one of history’s ten best teams, the Celtics went 67-15 and after some minor hiccups…

1986 Eastern Conference Playoffs First Round, Game 1, Bulls @ Celtics

1986 Eastern Conference Playoffs First Round, Game 2, Bulls @ Celtics

…they cruised to their second title in three years.

Bird’s third consecutive MVP was legit, but there’s still a few lingering questions.

Showtime went 62-20 and Magic comes in third? Not one first place vote?

Dominique Wilkins (30.3, 7.9, 2.6) carried the Hawks to 50 wins and finished in front of Johnson wiht five first place votes. Granted, there was a sixteen game progression, but still a dozen wins less than Los Angele, a perennial contender. Are the voters saying ‘Nique did more with less?

Again, why were Magic (18.8,5.9,12.6) and Cap (23.4,6.1,3.5) sharing votes when Bird (25.8,9.8,6.8) and McHale (21.3,8.1,2.7) weren’t? Because Cap was a legend and McHale was in his fourth year? They were both All Stars that year. Because Cap finished the plays and Magic only passed it to him? Despite all of his brilliance, Magic was a guard. Guards didn’t win MVP. Right?

1986-87-The takeover. This season was the first time in the history of the MVP award that the winner and the runner-up were both guards. It just didn’t happen. Since the game’s inception, big men-particularly centers-were deemed higher in the game’s pecking order than their counterparts. The big man’s ability to score from the interior with a high field goal percentage, in addition to an imposing defensive presence and steady rebounding was crucial to team success. Their overall impact on a game was greater than that of smaller players dependent on their jumpshots and ill equipped to battle in the paint. The name of the game was to put the ball in the basket, and the man at the basket controlled the game. From Russell to Moses, post players won championships, so they were inherently more valuable. Right?

The efficiency of the game was with the big men, but they had their limitations. They couldn’t handle the ball as well and their decision making in the open court was generally suspect. They were considerably slower than guards and more predictable due to their limited range and movement. Post players were chained to the basket and needed the ball fed to them.

The soul, the creativity, the artistry, the future of the game was with the guard.

Magic Johnson (23.9,6.3,12.2) had a statistical buffet, gorging on the competition in 65 Laker victories. Only the fourth guard to win the Podoloff in it’s 31 years, he certified his value in another iconic postseason.

1987 NBA Finals, Game 4, Lakers @ Celtics

Then there was Michael Jordan (37.1,5.2,4.6). A streaking explosion of coiled muscles. A barrage of pivots, pump fakes, reverse pivots, jab steps, pull ups and fallaways. A cavalcade of double clutches, up and unders, baby hooks, runners, reverses, teardrops and bankshots. Then there were the dunks. It was endless.

February 26, Nets @ Bulls

March 4, Bulls @ Pistons

March 24, 76ers @ Bulls

He only stopped because the schedule did. Jordan had torched the NBA for it’s first 3,000 point season in 24 years-from the two spot. Finishing second, he would have joined Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Bob Petit as the only players from losing teams (40-42) declared MVP. That year’s ballot indicated a changing of the guard.

Dominique Wilkins (29.0) was the L’s second leading scorer and the Hawks (57-25) conquered a Central Division with two other 50+win teams and the Bulls. Atlanta had the third best record in the league and the next highest scorer on that team was Kevin Willis (16.1). He was supported by Doc Rivers (12.8), Randy Wittman (12.7) and Mike McGee (10.4). He took less shots (24.3 to 22.6), had less turnovers (3.2 to 2.7) and more assists (2.6 to 3.3) Drowned out by cheers for Jordan, he didnt get one first place vote, and even Kevin McHale finished with twice as many points as him (254/128). So was Nique rewarded for lifting his team the previous year, or just reaping the benefits of Jordan’s absence?

Speaking of McHale, he did improve that year, but shouldn’t that be a testament to Bird’s influence as it was in the past? He only had three points last year, having played only nine less games. Did this mean the voters suddenly couldn’t tell who was responsible for the Celtics success?

Bird (28.1, +2.3 on ‘86) was the Lig’s fourth leading scorer, and averaged a career high in assists (7.6). The Celtics (59-23) held down the Atlantic-and the East-again. How does anyone from a sub.500 team finish with twice as many points and a ten to one first place vote ratio? Isn’t this the reigning three time MVP?

Isiah Thomas (20.6,3.9 & 10.0)? 52 wins? Anyone? Only 17 total points? Anyone? Anyone?

“It would have been tough, if not impossible to keep scoring like I did during the 86-87 season. I attacked from he opening tip until the last whistle for 82 games. That was my mentality. In terms of physical talent we probably has less on that team than any other Bulls team I played on. I knew I needed to score if we were going to be successful. I’m pretty sure Doug Collins felt the same way. I had one streak of nine straight games with 40 or more points. You have no idea how much energy it takes to score 40 points one night. The difference between averaging 32 PPG over an entire season versus a little over 37 is significant. Think of it this way: If I scored 32 one night then I had to score 42 the next night to get even. But that was a different era. Very few teams were as sophisticated defensively as they are today. And no team, with the exception of Detroit the next season, geared its entire defensive gameplan to shutting down one player…

In the early years I compared myself to Magic and Larry. What could I do to elevate my game past theirs?”

1987-88-The blueprint. He already left defenders helpless. But it was his defense that terrorized opponents for the breadth of the court. He was a one man press. His strength, quickness, leaping, anticipation and recognition made him a more intimidating defender than men twice his size. He filled passing lanes, blocked shots from the weakside, stripped penetrating dribbles, skied for rebounds and started countless fastbreaks-which he emphatically finished.

Michael Jordan recorded more than 200 steals and 100 blocks for the second year in a row, a feat never acheived by any other guard even once (236 & 125 in ‘87 to 259 & 131 in ‘88. ). This garnished him the 1988 Defensive Player of the Year Award. Silencing critics who claimed that he was a one man show, Money made a concerted effort to involve his teammates which resulted in a scoring dip (37.1 on 27.8 SPG to 35.0 on 24.4SPG), but also an increase in assists (4.6 to 5.9) and shooting % (48.2 to 53.5). Aside from a paltry 3P % (13.2), his game was utterly flawless.

The Bulls (Seriously, look at that roster. Now.) somehow went 50-32 only to be matched up against a talented Cleveland squad, far better than their 42-40 record after the addition of veteran Larry Nance in a midseason trade. Outmatched and unfazed, Jordan opened the playoffs with consecutive 50 point games against the Cavs, another first in NBA history.

1988 Eastern Conference First Round, Game 1, Cavs @ Bulls

1988 Eastern Conference First Round, Game 2, Cavs @ Bulls

He would go on to average a record 45.2 PPG in the five games and win his first playoff series before falling to the Pistons (4-1) in the next round.

His performance in ‘88 was valuable not only to Chicago, but to the entire league. It was transcendent.

“…They were great all-around players, but they were never known as great defenders. I realized defense could be my way of seperating myself from them. I decided I wanted to be recognized as a player who could inflence the game at either end of the floor. The one thing people saw in me that they didn’t see in Magic or Larry was the athletic ability. They had great talent, but in terms of raw athletic ability I think I had a little more. To some extent I think it was hard for people to believe anyone eho jumped and dunked could also be a complete player. But that’s what I did at North Carolina and that’s what I was trying to do in the NBA. After the 1987-88 season the critics had to say, ‘This kid can have an influence at both ends of the court. He’s not just a scorer.’ Now when they talked about Magic and Larry they also had to talk about defense. I felt like I made the seperation, at least individually, to some extent that season. But I knew I’d never completely be recognized as their equal until we won championships.”-For the Love Of the Game, by Michael Jordan

Kevin McHale played in 13 less games, and saw a decrease in his averages (26.1, 9.9 & 2.6 to 22.6, 8.4 & 2.7) . Bird took two more shots a game that year, and all of McHales MVP votes?

Once again, Dominique Wilkins (30.7, 6.4 & 2.9) is a complete afterthought. Sixth place, huh?

1988-89- The Lakers had become the lig’s first back to back champions in twenty years and despite the reduced minutes and production of Cap’s farewell tour (10.1, 4.5 & 1.0 in 22.9 MPG), Magic considered that year’s team to be the deepest and most talented of his career. Assuming more of a scoring role in the offense, he also increased his assists and rebounds (22.5, 7.9 & 12.8), leading Los Angeles on a collision course with friend and rival, Isiah Thomas.

Magic Johnson broke the mold of the traditional point guard with a size and versatility that impacted the game more than his smaller contemporaries, but Isiah Thomas more than matched his adversary in skill and will. Zeke valiantly fought off a severely sprained ankle with a historic 25 points in the third quarter of the previous years Game 6, bringing Detroit within arms length of a championship, only to succumb to Showtime in seven games. The memory of such a narrow defeat drove Thomas and the Bad Boys to a franchise best 63-19 record in ‘89, securing the all important home court advantage for their Finals rematch.

In an anticlimactic twist of fate, both Magic and Byron Scott would injure their hamstrings, clearing the way for a Pistons sweep. Though Johnson had captured the season’s MVP, the vindication of a title helped Thomas forget that he only received one vote and one point on that years ballot.

But Michael Jordan (32.5, 8.0, 8.0 & 2.9) was more valuable than both of them.

Jordan spent a significant portion of the season at the point dominating smaller guards and during a three week span (3/28-4/14) recorded a triple double in ten of eleven games. However trading away their rebounding enforcer in Charles Oakley caused the Bulls to take a step backwards as a team during the ‘89 regular season. Chicago struggled to stay competitve while incorporating the awkward low post game of Bill Cartwright and developing second year talents Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant. Their modest record of 47-35 was buried in the Central Division and as they stumbled into the playoffs losing eight of ten, playoff expectations were nil.

The Cavaliers (57-25) had taken all five games of the season series and were hungry for playoff revenge. Jordan opened a can of whoop-ass instead, stuffing Cleveland with 39.8, 5.8 & 8.2 before putting them to bed with “The Shot”.

The Bulls won their semi-final matchup with New York (52-30) and handed the Pistons what would ultimately be their only two losses of the postseason in a suprsingly tight six game series.

If the objective of the game is to win a championship, then shouldn’t the most valuable player be the one who gives his respective team the best chance to win? Magic and Zeke steered their talented squads towards June, while Jordan maximized the potential of a team that shouldn’t have lasted past April. An elite player on a mediocre team is needed more, expected to do more, and the fact that the opposition knows this only increases the burden. Off nights aren’t allowed. There is a distinct difference between leading a team and being the team.

With that, I present Money with the second Honorary T.R.O.Y. Retroactive M.V.P.

Stay tuned for part two.

Suns v. Spurs Preview.

2007-05-06T12:19:00.000-06:00

What To Look For: So wait, now Steve Nash got screwed and a 61 win team-with homecourt advantage are underdogs? What the hell is going on here? This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen. One of these teams was supposed to stumble out of this series only to be trampled by the rested Mavericks, while the other found themselves one step closer to euthanization. Instead, Phoenix and San Antonio will now face each other in the Conference Semis as the top two favorites for not only the West, but the whole thing. It should be expected that they’ll play accordingly. Both may be facing their last legitimate shot at a championship, as their stars age by the day. That urgency will show in the follow through of every J and the intensity of every rebound. After a dismantling of the Nuggets fast break with their defensive fortitude, many expect the Spurs to continue their success by frustrating the Suns in a similar fashion. Tony Parker was the standout player of the season series, attacking with 28 ppg, including a 35 point performance (4/5) in which he frustrated the reigning MVP into foul trouble and the Suns were held to 38% How will Nash respond? This series should also prove to be another epic battle of post positioning between Tim Duncan and Amare Stoudemire. The NBA Finals are happening in May this year, and they’re gonna be great.

Phoenix Strengths/Weaknessess: Scoring quickly and consistently, even off of the inbounds. Strength and athleticism in the frontcourt, snipers on the perimeter and consistent from the line. Oops from half court and beyond, no look passes down the baseline for three, fast break, pick n’ roll, can’t board, spotty defense, yadda, yadda, yadda….It’s amazing how describing something so beautiful can become so tedious after so many viewings. It’s like trying to explain to someone why ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ is so great in less than twenty minutes. Just watch.

San Antonio Strengths/Weaknessess: The Spurs are the lig’s most versatile and balanced team. Tony Parker and Manu Ginobli penetrate at will, and are capable of making the open shot if defenders don’t fight through the pick n’ roll. Their passing and decision making in the open court consistently create easy baskets for streaking teammates and they make a Spurs break as dangerous as Phoenix’s. Bruce Bowen and Tim Duncan anchor a suffocating Spurs defense that is committed to transition defense and disturbing the pick n’ roll. That defense broke Denver’s will, leaving them dependent on shaky jump shooters. The uncontainable Allen Iverson was confounded by the seamless efficiency of the Spurs trapping and rotation, missing contested shot after shot which fueled fast break opportunities for Parker and Ginobli. But obviously San Antonio executes best in the half court when the ball goes through the big fundamentals. His endless repertoire of post moves invariably draws a double team, which allows him to feed his strategically placed teammates. San Antonio spaces the floor well and has two more excellent shooters and penetrators in Michael Finley and Brent Barry waiting on their bench. The Spurs shortcomings will be a focal point in this series. Their free throw shooting is abysmal, and they don’t rebound particularly well as a team. Even though they took the season series from Phoenix, San Antonio was outrebounded by the Suns, who are hardly dominant on the glass.

How They’ll Match Up: Tony Parker is going to continue to attack on the offensive end for points in the paint, and Steve Nash is going to have to do his best to stay in front of him in addition to responding on the other end. He’s not going to morph into a defensive stalwart overnight, but his team’s best chances are with him limiting Parker’s easy opportunities, and he knows it. The energy he’ll need to expend defensively will be an additional strain that may limit his effectiveness. Nash is going to need help from his front line to limit penetration, and the Spurs are facing the same problem, so expect plenty of flopping and bitching from both teams as they try to work the refs. Raja Bell and Manu Ginobli might actually just play the whole series on their backs. STAT will hold down the paint with high percentage buckets for the Suns, just as Duncan will for San Antonio, but whoever has the more reliable shooters and can own the boards in this series will be victorious. Shawn Marion, Boris Diaw and Kurt Thomas are superior to the Spurs supplementary bigs, Fabricio Oberto and Fransisco Elson. If they can prove that with offensive rebounds and by making the defense pay for doubling STAT, then Phoenix has a better chance than advertised.

The X Factor(s): Both teams will pick n’ roll each other to death, who is going to make the proper adjustments first? Can San Antonio rebound and make their free throws? Will their bench wear the Suns out? Can Phoenix maintain the defensive intensity that they showed in L.A.? Will they live, or die by the three?

Series Prediction: PhP..Pho.PhPPhoenix in seven. Ugh. I have to go wash my hands…

Pistons v. Bulls Preview.

2007-05-05T18:06:00.000-06:00

What To Look For: Youth versus experience. While Detroit is considered a narrow favorite, Chicago’s 3-1 season series advantage has some thinking that their fresh legs and athleticism will triumph over the playoff tested Pistons. The Bulls collected their first playoff series of the post-Jordan era at the expense of the defending champs and are looking for more. The danger of a team with nothing to lose has been made readily apparent, and Chicago owned the season series on the boards, including last month’s 106-88 stampede without center Ben Wallace. This has all the makings of another upset.

Detroit Strengths/Weaknesses: Detroit has replaced the smothering defensive presence of Ben Wallace with the versatility of Chris Webber which has completely opened up the offense. His ability to stretch the defense with consistent perimeter shooting coupled with the easy baskets he can create with his interior passing are the perfect fit for their frontcourt. Tayshaun Prince and Rasheed Wallace mirror those attributes, in addition to a superior mobility that can finish off the fast break. Richard Hamilton’s sharpshooting along with Chauncey Billups leadership and decision making round out the Lig’s Fav Five. Every starter on this team is capable of scoring twenty points-on the same night. Despite only 96 PPG, Detroit has all the offensive synergy of a Phoenix or Golden State without sacrificing any defensive discipline. There’s a reason it’s called “Deeeeettttrrrroooooooit Bassssskettballlllll!”, They’re long, loud, in your face and it’s gonna be that way for 48 minutes. The Pistons led the league in block differential (+2.21) and were sixth in steals (+0.75). They communicate well, always make the proper rotation, and the length of their frontcourt fills the passing lanes and contests shots. The only area where the Pistons disappoint is rebounding. Despite the size and vision of their players, the Central Division Champs leading rebounder was Rasheed Wallace with an underwhelming 7.2 per. It could be their undoing.

Chicago Strengths/Weaknesses: They aren’t babies anymore. These are grown ass, um…Bulls? Chicago boasts strong interior play, impressive outside shooting, and a dangerous fast break. Da Bulls led da Lig in rebounding (43.67, +2.78 diff), dey were fourth in steals (7.79, +0.30), dey were sixth in blocks (5.42, +0.14 diff), and finished second in 3PT% (38.8%). They’re not without their problems though. Chicago has trouble scoring within the half court and go through frequent dry spells. Ben Gordon is the only player who can consistently create his own shot, and they’re a horrible free throw shooting team (73.4%, 23rd.).

How They Match Up: The 3-1 season series advantage is deceptive. Chauncey (1/6) and Rip (3/29) were missing in Detroit losses, and no Piston starter played more than 30 minutes in their final meeting of the season (4/4). Detroit’s backcourt is superior in size and strength, not to mention experience and it should show. Billups is strong enough to post up any defender, and his defense on Hinrich could disrupt a fragile Bulls offense. Hamilton will be able to get his shots off over Gordon if the screens haven’t already tired him out and his size advantage should help him on the other end. Luol Deng and Andres Nocioni played exceptionally well against Miami due to mismatches, but whether they can have a repeat performance against Tayshaun Prince remains to be seen. The collective shooting and ball movement of the Pistons frontcourt should keep da Bulls plenty busy when they’re not figuring out how to score themselves. No post player for the Bulls can be relied upon for consistent easy baskets and that will hurt them over the course of this series.

The X Factor(s): The future is now. Chicago is motivated by recent success and don’t know if they’ll ever get this far again, they’re going for broke. Detroit is motivated by past success and with Ben Wallace as a looming reminder of Chauncey’s impending free agency, they don’t know if they’ll ever get this far again. They’re going for broke. There will be plenty of jumpers, and this series will be decided in the paint as the Bulls look to continue their dominance on the boards and stifle Detroit’s second chances or fast breaks. Chicago’s hunger may drive them to keep things competitive but as this series progresses their need for a star of Billups magnitude will be apparent. Who are they going to depend upon for scoring during a drought? For a statement bucket? In the fourth quarter?

Series Prediction: Don’t believe the hype. Pistons in six.

Women I Wouldn't Settle For, Vol. I., "She's Missing Something Down Low..."

2007-05-03T23:55:00.000-06:00

Not my type.

Doubt Is A Four Letter Word.

2007-04-28T11:53:00.000-06:00

"I'm 28 now. I shouldn't miss a free throw down the stretch, but it happens. We're all human. If we were all machines, it would be boring. Emotions play a factor in a big game like that."

"I think anyone who says they don't get tense is lying," Nowitzki said. "In big games, you've just got to find ways to stay loose and relaxed. I've been doing a decent job of not letting the pressure get to me and still enjoying the moment.

"I love to have the ball at the end of games. That's what it's all about, that your teammates trust you and you have confidence in yourself that you can get it done. It's a great situation to be in."
-Dirk Nowitzki

"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."
– Michael Jordan

The definitive excellence of Michael Jordan was in his ability to consistently meet-and raise-expectations. Reaching the pinnacle of success is a lonely and perilous journey. The air gets thin up there. A successful reputation is twofold; the more successful one is, the more seriously they will be taken and the more cautious opponents will be in their plan of attack. For some, with continued success comes a fear of failure. A fear of exposure, belittlement, infamy. They know that players don't gracefully descend this mountain, they are thrown off by someone hungrier, and recovery isn't promised. Only the strong survive.

It's never shown in the box scores of a game, but the psychological and emotional advantage are just as important as the actual point totals. The playoffs are a battle of wills, and any sign of weakness is exploited. To doubt one's own will can make even rudimentary exercises such as a trip to the line excruciatingly difficult. Ask Nick Anderson, Karl Malone, or Gilbert Arenas. By definition, free throws should be easy, but in a tight game situation it's that very assumption of simplicity which complicates the process. It's also the reason there often isn't a repeat champion. Maintaining a competitive edge in this league is difficult enough, but the added burden of expectations can absolutely cripple a player and a team.

It's one thing to perform well during the monotonous redundancy of the eighty two, but to sustain that effort amidst the pressure and finality of the playoffs is something else entirely. Ask the '94 Sonics or the '99 Heat. In a game of synergy and snap decisions, the physical and mental manifestations which spring from a seed of doubt are anathema. Hesitancy or over thinking, lead to bated breath and quickened pulses, which produce dry mouths and sweaty palms. Nerves. As the crowd roars and the lights shine, the ears plug, the throat closes, and the vision blurs. Passes and rebounds are mishandled, defensive rotations are missed, jumpers get short armed, and games are lost. It's called choking, and once it starts it's hard to stop.

That's the beauty of being an underdog. They can't choke, they can only induce it in others.

"We will not sweep Miami"
-Andres Nocioni

He knew what he was doing. He knew the defending champion Heat were no strangers to injuries or 2-0 deficits. He knew Miami's talent and experience could fuel a rally and that many would in fact, expect that to happen. The Bulls were not the favorites in this series, and wouldn't be unless they won game 3, which is why Chicago withstood the inevitable Heatwave (womp, womp....) with a marked composure. Miami came out aggressive, took excellent care of the ball and led by seven at the half. They were riding an eight game home playoff win streak, and had won 26 consecutive playoff games which they led at halftime. The Bulls were uncontrollably turning the ball over and the Heat carried their lead into the fourth quarter. It all fell apart in one possession.

The Bulls raced to the other end and Hinrich attacked Shaq with a floater in the lane. The doubt O'Neal had instilled in Chicago with his earlier dominance was supplanted by confidence. A few possessions later Gordon would also lob one in over the Diesel, and that began a parade to the paint which resulted in a 15-2 run of nothing but free throws and easy buckets for the Chi. Miami lost their composure, the game, and now are looking not to be the first defending champs to get swept in the first round.

Why didn't Shaq dunk the ball in that earlier sequence? After he elbowed Ben Wallace in the head to clear his way to the basket, he certainly could have. Maybe he was just shocked he got blocked and rushed his followup. Or maybe he rushed that follow up because he was scared of the line. He and Dwyane Wade were a combined 7-22 from the charity stripe (The team shot 19-35). Miami's bid for another title is essentially over because they couldn't make their free throws. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

"Dirk said that they gave us the championship last year. But he's the reason they lost the championship, because he wasn't the leader he's supposed to be in the closing moments."
-Dwyane Wade

"You look at what happened to him last year in the Finals. You can't let your team give away games like that, in the biggest series of your career. Look at what he did this year in their biggest games. When they played Phoenix, he made bad decisions, he made stupid plays late.

"And then he admitted to feeling pressure. He admitted it. That's the worst thing you can do is say, 'The pressure got to me.' My God, even if you feel that, why would you say that?"
-Rick Barry

"I'm coming back with a bunch of schmoes"
-Don Nelson

The whispers started a while ago, and he didn't do much to quiet them. 'Is Dirk a clutch player?' Hmmm... If there ever was a time for the 'we have nothing to lose' routine, this was it. He's openly acknowledged that he can be rattled and that anything less than an O'Brien this year is a letdown, so why wouldn't Nellie apply the pressure? His barrage of compliments towards Dallas are an obvious ploy, and so far they're working.

They're younger and more athletic, but Golden State's strength is in their fearlessness. They ain't no punks to begin with, and they're coming off a 13 year playoff drought? Against a team they took three from already this year? Sheeeeeeeeet..... S-Jax'll tell ya, "Toss that muthafucka up there and let's get this shit poppin'!"

That emotion can get the best of them, as it did in Game 2, but when questions arose of whether the Warriors would completely unravel, it was Dallas who lost their cool in the following game. This was supposed to be a five game series, six at the most. That prediction might actually prove true if the Mavericks don't find themselves. This is a 67 win team? This is the MVP? Everything is on the line and everyone is watching, how will he respond? If his first few shots don't fall, will he fall apart? Has there ever been a shakier 90% free throw shooter?

Observance changes that which is being observed, and tomorrow night the delicate flower that is Dirk Nowitzki will be our latest case study. He will either prove to be a shrinking violet, or his leadership will finally blossom before the world. In order to be effective he needs to exhaust the versatility of his game. He may be pestered by smaller, quicker players, but he can shoot over them, and post any one of them up-which should provide scoring opportunities for teammates. Either way, Dallas will live or die with him and he can't lead with the same self-effacing blather he's been spouting all year. It's time for him to drown out the whispers with a battle cry of ...

"If we don't get out of the first round this year, it's on me!"
-Tracy McGrady

In what appears to be an effort to circumvent media pressure, TMac has played himself right into Jerry Sloan's hands. It's unclear whether McGrady doesn't trust Yao enough, or if he's simply overzealous, but what's quite evident is that the Jazz are running to minimize Ming's effectiveness and his teammate is allowing it to happen. Despite playing only seven more minutes than his center (154-147), Mac has taken sixteen more shots (87-71). This in itself is not a completely telling statistic, but Yao has taken nineteen more free throws (39-53/26-34), while McGrady continues to struggle from the field (32-87, 37% in addition to 28% from three, 6-21). He's never been out of the first round because he's never had good teammates, and now that he finally has them, they're underutilized. Why? Expectations.

And don't get me started on Kirilenko.

"I thought they played harder than we did," "And we didn't stick to our game plan like we did in the first two games. We were a step slow and we weren't in the right spots. Defensively, we need to concentrate and be in the right spots."
-Steve Nash

"We had a chance to put them away," "They shot the ball well, Kobe was on fire. Game 4 will be a different story. We normally take care of the ball, but they were the aggressor."
-Amare Stoudemire

"It was effort. You can go over execution and X's and O's all you want. What you have to have is effort."
-Kobe Bryant

Foul trouble, missing open jumpers, poor defensive rotations and rebounding, whatever. However Phoenix lost the edge in this series doesn't matter as much as how they plan to re-establish it. They must look forward, not back. They have to give that same effort that built them a seventeen point lead in Game 3, and they have to know that L.A. will match that intensity. They have to know that Laker defenders are going to continue to show and hassle Nash on the screen/roll, that they will continue to attack the basket and crash the boards. Just as the Suns bent countless opponents to the will of their fastbreak, they have to know the Lakers seek to do the same through controlling the paint. Kobe wasn't on fire, he was waltzing to the basket for uncontested layups. So was Lamar, and so was Kwame.

Phoenix might be under more pressure than Dallas this year. They're interchangable title favorites comprised of All-Star rosters, led by interchangable MVP candidates. Neither should be struggling in the first round, but Phoenix is having this problem for the second time with the same team. What will happen tomorrow if the intimidator fails to intimidate? Again? As Marion disappears for quarters at a time and they continue to be outrebounded by a wide margin, will the Suns feel an added pressure to make every shot? What if there's more foul trouble waiting for them? Will they have to forego their plans for second round rest and acknowledge that this series isn't over yet? Home court or not, do they really want a best of three with Kobe Bryant? Will they feel that dream slipping away? Again?

As the final buzzer sounded on Game 3, Smush Parker attempted a dunk that would have put an exclamation point on the jubilant roars of the Staples Center. He was fouled by Raja Bell, and Mike D'Antoni was incensed by Parker's supposed lack of sportsmanship. Or was he trying to motivate his team through this perceived slight to keep their spirits up? To alleviate the tension? Anything to keep them from remembering this?

Can it happen again?

I don't doubt it.

Jewelz.

2007-04-27T17:03:00.000-06:00

Thanks to whoever posted this on NT. The following are quotes from an Allen Iverson article in this months issue of GQ that is an absolute must read. I would ramble on further about A.I., but let it suffice to say that I'm looking forward to his bust being the first in the Hall of Fame with braided hair.

Allen Iverson: Football was my first love. It was my dream to play in the NFL. I didn't start playing basketball until I was 8 years old. One day my mom told my coach to come and bring me to basketball practice. I cried all the way to the door.

Dennis Kozlowski (ex-football coach, Bethel High School, Hampton, Virginia): In high school, he wasn't big as a minute - five six, five seven, 145 pounds - but he was a Deion type of player, an absolute wonder returning kicks. As a safety, he still holds the state record with five interceptions in one game. As a quarterback, he could throw the ball at least seventy yards in the air.

More from his former coaches.

Rick Reilly (writer, Sports Illustrated): After he'd begun playing with the Sixers, I drove with him one day in his black Mercedes to a Philadelphia Eagles practice. He threw a bunch of beautiful passes - he could throw it fifty yards on the button - and ran this gorgeous route. The coach was like, "My God, I'll sign him right now."

David Teel (columnist, the Hampton Roads Daily Press): He was eventually found guilty of "maiming by mob," which was a felony. This was a statute that in the cruelest of ironies was put on the books to prevent lynchings. He was sentenced to fifteen years. Ten suspended. Five years in prison. He was 17 years old. For a fight!

Douglas Wilder (former governor of Virginia; current mayor, Richmond Virginia): The law that was used for the conviction was ancient. I couldn't see how that violation, for a juvenile, should result in such a mark being placed on him for life. Four months later, at Christmas, I pardoned him. I caught hell for it.

Iverson: Coach [John] Thompson had visited me in prison and I'd asked him would he consider taking me in if I was able to get out. Fortunately, he did. They had a football program, and I remember one day asking him how did he feel about me playing football. I don't think you can write it in a magazine, what he said. I didn't think about playing football no more after that.

Smart man.

Henry "Que" Gaskins (former global vice president, lifestyle and entertainment division, Reebok): Jordan was talking trash during the game: "Look, young boy, you have to respect us." The Bulls had won championships. Allen said to Jordan, "I ain't gotta respect nobody."

Todd Boyd (author, Young, Black, Rich, and Famous): In his rookie year, Allen infamously "crossed over" Jordan. At the top of the key, Allen rocked twice, and left Jordan standing in the same spot. It was unbelievable. Nobody had seen Jordan get clowned that way in a long time. The greatest player in the game to get upstaged by this rookie.

No two dribbles in basketball history will ever be more celebrated.

Bobbito Garcia (cofounder, Bounce magazine): He had already beaten Jordan on the first dribble, but he brought the ball back and crossed him again. That's something that you see on the street - unnecessary moves to claim dominance.

He probably could've done it with a football too.

Reggie Miller (former guard, Indiana Pacers): During his third year in Philadelphia, he got his first taste of the postseason, against us. We basically murdered them. But he had a great series. And I remember when it was over, him going to the bench with a towel on his face, crying. It hurt that bad. And I said to myself, He's special. Because they had no shot at beating us. But he felt that they could. All true athletes believe they can conquer.

Rick Fox (former forward, Los Angeles Lakers): After we won Game 4 to go up three games to one, I remember seeing him being driven down the tunnel in a golf cart to the press room - which is a short walk. I remember thinking, You're MVP of the league, and you've been fighting valiantly, and you're so banged up you can't even make it from your locker room to do press? He is a true warrior.

Tyronn Lue (guard, Atlanta Hawks; formerly with the Los Angeles Lakers): The next season, we got into it again. I came right up to him and said, "You keep talking about how you're gonna give me fifty - well here I am mutha ." And he was like, "I don't even know who you are. Who are you?" I was like, "I'm the same person who won the championship ring last year." The first play, he went backdoor and scored, and he was yelling, "Gimme the rock, we can do this all night." And I was like, "It's too late. You shoulda did it during the finals." After that we started talking more, and we became cool.

Iverson: I've got a problem with people who play scared. Tyronn Lue took it as a challenge, like a man.

Jordan was one thing, but a friendship grew out of this?

Wow.

Patrick Saunders (staff writer, Denver Post): On December 19, Philadelphia traded Iverson to the Denver Nuggets. Prior to his first game, we had a hude blizzard. Nobody knew for sure when he was going to get in or whether he was going to play. He had only five minutes of warm-up. The arena was electric.

Carmelo Anthony (forward Denver Nuggets): It was the biggest thing around here since Elway won the Super Bowl.

Partick Saunders: Carmelo, who was suspended at the time, was home watching the game. He was standing up; he couldn't sit down. Iverson would pass the ball to a teammate, and Carmelo would pretend it was him. He was in his living room flipping his wrist like he's making the shot. He got all psyched, so he drove up in his Range Rover and invited Iverson to dinner.

Iverson: I'm six feet. Legit.

Of heart.

And now here's something we think you'll really like...

I kid.

Allen Iverson Sportscentury.

the rest...

"Young Man Those Aren't Regulation Shorts!"

2007-04-27T16:29:00.000-06:00

Guess who?

Incarcerated Scarface?

2007-04-25T18:58:00.000-06:00

“He looks determined without being ruthless. Something heroic in his manner. There’s a courage about him, he doesn’t look like a killer. He comes across so calm, acts like he has a dream. Full of passion.”

“You don’t trust me, huh?”

“Well, you know why.”

“I do. We’re not supposed to trust anyone in our profession anyway.”

What up, yo. Time is runnin’ out.

AP-“It was really embarrassing to come in here and lose such an important game the way we lost it,” Odom said. “…We need to think about some things as a team. It’s kind of sad, but I don’t know that we’re as close as a team right now as far as camaraderie and things like that. That’s the only way you lose games like this — when you’re not close.”

Bryant downplayed the impact of losing by such a large margin.

“In the playoffs, it doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s a loss, either way you cut it.”

As an unabashed member of Laker Nation, I currently find myself unable wade in the shallow waters of ‘the right way’. I’m incapable of concealing my feelings for the Purple and Gold, and any attempts to marginalize them to project a sense of even-handedness are half-hearted and ultimately counterproductive. You’re not here for that, and neither am I. Right now, I’m not a sportswriter, or even an aspiring one. I’m a fan. Fans pick a side and stay there.

That being said, we’re fucked.

As hard as it was to watch, there was a hint of foreshadowing in the fourth quarter of last night’s game. (I took around three quarters worth of notes, but I don’t have the stomach to go through the autopsy right now, and I doubt anyone wants to relive such bloodshed. Except Suns fans, and well, fuck them.) Kobe Bryant, the same player accused of tanking last year’s Game 7, left the bench to subject himself to more ridicule-and a twisted ankle. What was he doing in the game? Maybe trying to develop some synergy amongst his teammates and give them something to build on for Game 3. He certainly wasn’t going to sit there and watch. After subsequently leaving the game for treatment, the Lakers plodded on. Phoenix’s entire rotation had been taken out of the game and replaced with the likes of Marcus Banks, Jalen Rose, Eric Piatowski, and Pat Burke. The Lakeshow countered with Shammond Williams, Sasha Vujacic, Mo Evans, Brian Cook and Andrew Bynum.

As a team trailing by upwards of twenty points-and one healthy star- in the fourth quarter of a Game 2, it seemed L.A. should’ve conceded the inevitable and gone to their garbage players too. Except those are the Lakers garbage players. Seriously, there are no lower men on the roster. These are some of the same guys who have been playing all year, and will be logging significant minutes for the rest of this series.

Half assed crews get demolished and bruised.

As Phil and Lamar were getting lifted in the staircases after the game, Kobe was left to simmer and contemplate his latest nickname. The incarcerated Scarface.

As a certified Kobeologist, I’ve blessed him with an assortment of aliases, (Anakin Skywalker, for obvious reasons. The Prince, for his eternal second banana status, Machiavellian image- and similarities to Pac, a.k.a Makaveli-another talented soul who tried too hard to be someone he’s not. There’s more, but don’t get me rambling…) however this one is probably the most appropriate given the circumstances.

As any self assured, goal oriented, immigrant would, Kobe’s natural inclinations when cornered are to go down swinging. No surrender, no retreat. Long ago, his focus on a dream materialized into a red beam willing to take out anyone in front of it. That focus is legendary, but hazardously singular. But isn’t that Kobe’s current dilemma, that he’s all alone? He has a definitive legacy to consider and needs to win, yet he’s surrounded by neophytes and ne’er do wells with nothing to lose. Yo, they be foldin' like envelopes under pressure, like Lou Ferrigno on coke. Compounding his problems are a considerable phalanx of character assasins in the form of a rabid media, ready to pounce on him whenever his shot totals exceed their comfort.

As we all know, through a well published-and well spun-series of events, three years ago Kobe was essentially branded as a villain. The bad guy. A man high on a power trip, considerate of no one and respectful of nothing. He either shoots too much, or his extraordinary achievements are belittled by a lack of resulting postseason success. He is in an inescapable situation, attacked from all angles and unable to fire back. He has been shackled, or incarcerated if you will. Six shot attempts in the last three quarters of Game 2.

As the media continues to ignore the hypocrisy of craving team play in a star driven league-and from a star with no team at that-from the agendaless perspective of a fan, I can see quite clearly. This team may fall, but not without a fight, especially from the only man who will be held accountable. Kobe is about to explode.

As the countdown to Game 3 passes, he thinks of LBJ, Nash, Dirk and others who will be showered with the praise of May. At that point, Kobe will pause and say to himself, “You’re all a bunch of fucking assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be who you wanna be. You need people like me so you can point your fucking fingers and say ‘That’s the bad guy.’ So what does that make you? Good? You’re not good, you just know how to hide. Me? I don’t have that problem. I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy! It’s the last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, I tell you…”

Michael Jordan’s playoff record of 63 points will fall before this series is over.

I seen it. Like a 27 inch Zenith. Believe it.

Women I Would Settle For, Vol. V, The Miami Heat Have the Lig's Best Fans.

2007-04-24T11:44:00.000-06:00

This is not up for debate.

My 25 Favorite Hip Hop Albums.

2007-04-24T00:20:00.000-06:00

Don't know if Straight Bangin' is still tallying numbers, but here's mine anyway. If this was supposed to be a list of the best, then it'd be completely different. But these are my favorites. For now...

25.

"I'm just tryin' to do the opposite of left, as long as there's the opposite of death. You test and I just might bring the opposite of life, until there's no one the opposite of right."

24.

"I lack the necessary tools to help me get right. So take your place as the temporary savior, while I'm lookin' at your face like I'll be tested on it later. I bet you like to fuck, but you love to argue. Poke a hole into my chest and pull my heart through, up to my room for cigarettes and cartoons. Or we can sit right here and try to guard these barstools. I'll take you any way that I can have you. Bring along your ethics, and your issues, and your taboos...."

23.

"Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is. I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis."

22.

"I'm better than your favorite rapper, but it don't take much these days for you to master the mic. Most of these rappers, trapped in the hype. They makin' whole albums, but only half of it's tight. So they never really have an impact on your life. That's why 3:16 was genius..."

21.

"Don't talk about my moms, yo."

20.

"The American Dream, though it seems that it's obtainable, they're pullin' your sleeve, don't believe cause it'll strangle you..."

19.

"Meanwhile, back in Queens-the realness, the foundation-if I die, I couldn't choose a better location. When the slugs penetrate, you feel a burnin' sensation. Gettin' closer to God, in a tight situation..."

18.

"These cats drink champagne and toast death and pain, like slaves on a ship talkin' bout who got the flyest chain."

17.

"Aw shit! Say Starkologist! Starksologist! Fried fish halibut!"

16.

"Me without a lyric, is like a nigga without a beeper..."

15.

"Olympic sponsor of the black glock, gold medalist in the back shot, from the soverign state of the have nots..."

14.

"You need to be more aware of your surroundings. Reality at times is astounding enough to get your heart pounding. It's safe to assume, in all confidence, that I'm one of the illest on the seven continents. You on my dick? Thanks for the compliment. You'll be fucked up by my table of contents..."

13.

"I find it's distressing, there's never no inbetween. We either niggas or kings, we either bitches or queens. This deadly ritual seems immersed in the peverse. Full of short attention spans, short tempers and short skirts. Long barrel automatics released in short bursts. The length of black life is treated with short worth. 'Get yours first. Them other niggas secondary' That type of illin' that be fillin' up the cemetery..."

12.

"...and the crowd goes wild, as if Holyfield has just won the fight. When in actuality, it's only about 3AM, and three niggas done got hauled off in the ambulance. Two niggas done started bustin'. And one nigga done took his shirt off, talkin' bout, 'Now who else wanna fuck wit Hollywood Colt?'"

11.

"....and even after all my logic and my theory, I add a 'muthafucka' so y'all i'gnant niggas hear me..."

10.

"Nigga, I seen it. Like a 27 inch Zenith. Believe it."

9.

"Even if it's jazz, or the quiet storm, I'll hook a beat up, convert it into hip hop form. Write a rhyme in graffitti and every show you see me in deep concentration, cause I'm no comedian..."

8.

"This ain't a movie dog..."

7.

"Whoever said illegal was the easy way out, didn't understand the mechanics and the workings of the underwold. Granted, 9 to 5 is how you survive. I 'aint tryin' to survive, I'm tryin' to live it to the limit and love it alot..."

6.

"Dedicated to babies who came feet first!"

5.

"I got techniques drippin' out my buttcheeks. Sleep on my stomach so I don't fuck up my sheets."

4.

"Now the little shorties say it all of the time, and a whole bunch of niggas throw the word in they rhymes. Yo, I start to flinch, as I try not to say it..."

3.

"Biatch!"

2.

"Not no Parkay, not no margarine. Strictly butter."

1.

"My ryhmin' is a vitamin, held without a capsule. The smooth criminal on beat breaks, never put me in your box if the shit eats tapes. The city never sleeps, full of villains and creeps, that's where I learned to do my hustle, had to scuffle with freaks. I'm a addict for sneakers, twenties of buddha and bitches with beepers. In the streets, I can greet ya, about blunts I'll teach ya. Inhale deep, like the words in my breath. I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death. I lay puzzled as I backtrack to earlier times, nothin's equivalent to the New York state of mind..."

David Halberstam 1934-2007.

2007-04-23T23:23:00.000-06:00

Damn. This man was as insightful a reporter and natural a writer as there has ever been. He was boundless, covering practically every aspect of a continually evolving American culture. His work cannot be duplicated, nor rivaled. It can only be admired.

Saturday Nights Are For Drugs & Alcohol.

2007-04-23T09:19:00.000-06:00

In case you missed it...

That dress alone made it three minutes well spent.

Good impression. Bad skit.

That woman is priceless. Who cares about grape stomping in the first place? And why do it on an elevated platform? She sounds like she's trying to cross breed seals and dogs down there. God bless the internet.

*Coincidentally, this happened leaving the SNL after party. I just wish she would have made those same noises again...

I would have done the same thing.

You're the only silky haired cracker I'd ever let get away with that. Actually, I'm lying. Jessica Biel could show up at my door in nothing but a trenchcoat and blackface and I'd still stop to think about it. What did Kanye say? 'Now that's a white girl you can take to the mosque'....

Grey Matter Clusterfuck, a.k.a Suns/Lakers Game 1 Notes.

2007-04-22T22:29:00.000-06:00

Here we go…

I can see the Suns plan on doing alot of flopping to counter interior play of Lakers.
Expecting plenty more bitc-um, Rajaing. God, I hate that dude.

Lamar Odom has to continue to play the post like that. If they come at him with any kind of double team-which they’ll eventualy have to-he’ll kill them with his passing.

Turiaf. WTF? I just hope no one says anything um… ‘unnecessary’ about his hair.

The Lakers are showing amazing discipline in attacking the low post, plus controlling the paint and pace.

Kobe. Ew. Got my face all scrunched up. Don’t hurt ‘em dude.

Lakers up by a dozen.

Lamar should’ve passed the ball to a streaking Kobe, instead attacks for a dumb charge.

Phoenix ties it up by exploiting fast breaks off of turnovers, rebounds and loose balls. Lakers transistion D is just stuck.

Kwame being Kwame. Dunk the damn ball, you’re seven feeet tall.

Phoenix ties the game, but the Lakers are still intent on controlling pace.

Kobe being Kobe. Can’t give him an inch of space. Twenty-six footer.

Nice D Kwame, but recover the ball. Sick oop from Nashty to Trix.

Kobe!

Kwame and his small hands. Cant secure rebound, another two for the Suns.

KOBE! Twenty-eight footer over two Suns to end the half.

If the Suns dont score 100 can they win this game?

STAT aggressive at the rim comin out in the third.

Luke Walton is another player that can play the post in this series. Especially with his passing skills. This really could get interesting.

STAT again. Kwame’s doing what he can, but not enough to stay with him.

Kobe. Another jumper.

Kwame almost blows another one.

Nash is focused. Man. Tell Farmar to holla at me man!

Kobe moonwalking huh, M. Jax? There’s too many inapporpriate jokes to be made. Must focus on game.

Kwame, with a shot clock violation-directly under the basket. Wow.

Suns are focusing on the paint early in third but still killed on boards

Kwame loses ball. His confidence cant be high right now, and L.A. needs some productivity outta him. Smart of Nash to bait him into posting, then coming with the double team. Then a charge on other end. Kwame’s getting frustrated! (Geroge Costanza is still that dude. No matter what Kramer did.) Lackadasical body language. Lashing at teammates who correct him. The Lakers essentially traded Shaq for this guy. (via Caron Butler.)

Bullshit charge in Nash’s favor. Still moving and Farmar had the angle to the basket.

Bullshit call on other end on Farmar.

Bullshit out of bounds on Odom. Marion touched it!

Biased much?

Doubt is a four letter word? Lots to be said on that. For Kwame and Suns.

Kwame another stupid play off the inbounds.

Kwame gotta make those free throws.

STAT is so quick off his feet. Even in congested areas.

Farmar has playoff nuts. Fully developed.

Horrible Suns communication on D, easy Odom dunk.

Horrible Lakers communication on D, easy Nash three.

Amazing how Kobe keeps his heat even with minutes between shots.

Farmar getting hosed. Gotta sit. What will Smush do?

SUNS EVEN WANT THE CHARGE IN THE RESTRICTED AREA. Their stupid fans too. Wow.

STAT over the back, but no call. First offensive board in a min.

Walton earning his keep.

Barbosa too. He’s quick, but not that quick. C’mon! Smush Parker couldn’t keep a wheelbarrow full of pussy in front of him.

Tempo and psychological edge turning dangerously towards Phoenix at 2 min mark.

Nash is quite clutch. Never tightens up on that open shot.

Phil looks so funny in that chair. What’s in that cushion? Phone books?

Odom showing great patience in the post.

Those charges are so weak. Barbosa for tres. Momentum change?

35 points in the third from the Suns! 39 in first half.

Lakers should stay hot cause theyre taking 10 footers. Suns? More jumpers?

Uh oh. Barbosa again.

Evans is not thinking. Reverse pivot fadeaway over two Suns with time left to get a better shot?

Barbosa killing Smush. He gave away this lead. I fuckin’ hate him

Kobe we need you at the basket.

Great pass Kobe. Bynum needs alot more touches. First assist?

Leinenkugel’s Berry Weiss is the best beer ever. Today.

Suns free throws?

Wow. These refs are outta control. Kobe ges no call but Marion and one? Show some consistency.

Lets see how Kobe responds.

By sitting down?

Phil showing real confidence with 7 minutes left and down 5. Youngn’s need that show of support I guess.

Kwame stupid foul. What was the point in shoving Marion when he could’ve just boxed out? He had the angle. Dumbass.

Odom with a strong response on the block. Sticking to gameplan and holding it down on boards too.

Mo Evans is about as useful as Kwame Brown in a bakery right now. Or Kwame Brown on a fucking basketball court for that matter.

Odom’s gotta nail that layin. Would have helped.

Whew! Barbosa missed a bunny too.

Barbosa right back at em! Steve who? Oh, right.

Dumb three Kobe.

Barbosa lucky pass. STAT right place, right time. Dope nonetheless. Why aren’t there more words like that? afterthefact? Nah.

Role reversal in second half. More turnovers for Lakers and too many jumpshots down stretch. Suns turned into interior team. Must’ve shot at a much higher percentage.

Fug cheerlaeader.

Barbie killed Vujacic and Smush. Backdoor cuts, pure speed, jumpers. However.

No charges for Lakers. Despite playing the whole damn game in the paint, only half as many free throws for Lakers and twice as many foul calls. No consistency from refs.

Kobe taking ridiculous shots. Well, I guess they’re not if they go in-it is Kobe. But they didn’t.

Ten points in the fourth. Damn.

I don’t see either team budging much from their gameplan in this series. It may come down to who can control the paint. And the refs.

Suns v. Lakers Series Preview.

2007-04-21T22:14:00.000-06:00

* I already posted this over at The Starting Five, just putting it here anyway.

What to Look For: Somethin’ biblical.

At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. . . . For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect –- if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time (Matthew 24:10-13;24 NIV).

They were thisclose. Thisclose to an upset. It didn’t happen. Instead, Kobe Bryant was accused of a cardinal sin, quitting on his team in a game 7, an accusation that will linger in the air of this entire series.

They were thisclose. Thisclose to being upset. It didn’t happen. Instead, Steve Nash maintained his mystique and may hoist another MVP trophy during this series.

Obviously, last year’s playoffs don’t actually count towards this years award, but to think that they aren’t remembered is a bit naive, no? If the Lakers had won that series, Kobe would have been absolved of practically all previous transgressions and would have finally shed the image of a brooding loner. If the Suns had lost that series, the deification of Nash and Phoenix would have been proven to be a ruse in the worst possible fashion. Instead, Nash is still praised for turning a team with two other All Stars-one of them also a candidate for DPOY- a former coach of the year, and a candidate for sixth man of the year into division champions. And Kobe Bryant is still a Judas.

Once again, both men stand before us to be judged.

Sooner, rather than later, we’ll all see who the prophet is.

Phoenix Strengths/Weaknesses: Phoenix has continually baptized opponents in the streaking fire that is their fastbreak, flames fanned by outrageous team percentages in field goals (49%), threes (40%) and free throws (80%). Nash & STAT will pick n’ roll the damn air outta the ball and the Suns unselfishness as a unit always creates an open shot. They get the job done. On one side of the court. Their inefficiencies on the other end are just as well known and equally deadly. This team has plenty of athletes, and two of the league’s premier defenders in Bell and Marion, however Nash’s inability to contain anyone allows easy penetration and subsequent fouls on interior help defenders. This team isn’t that deep to begin with, so any foul trouble that forces adjustments in the lineup will either tire out the remains of an already overworked crew, or force them to rely on players outside of their regular rotation. Despite a formidable front line, the Suns were consistently out rebounded this year, including three of the four games against the Lakers. A team that can’t be depended on to rebound or play defense better not miss often.

Los Angeles Strengths/Weaknesses: Kobe/Anyone not named Kobe. That’s the consensus. Before they were plagued with injuries, the Lakers were showing signs of cohesion with a 30-19 record. But February was quite a while ago, and currently this team is a hot ass mess. They’re just like the Suns, on the wrong end of the court. Porous defense and out boarded. Offense has been a completely different story altogether. Depending on who you ask, Kobe is either Moses, leading a weary tribe into the promised land, or Pharaoh himself. The cohesion of this seasons past is definitely needed, but the question at hand is whether a young, inexperienced-and depleted roster can muster such a collective effort on demand. Which Lamar Odom will emerge in this series? Does Smush want a contract or a victory? Can Radmonovich repeat last years playoff heroics? Can Bynum & Turiaf establish themselves as a post presence? Can Kwame… be counted on for anything? The Lakers will play amidst a parted sea of questions that can cave in on them without any faith in each other.

How They Match Up: Despite the glaring differences in talent, these two teams should play each other pretty evenly. Neither team will put forth a sustained defensive effort, so expect plenty of Nash blowing by Smush and vice versa. Phoenix is obviously flush with shooters, so Walton, Radmonovic and Vujacic need to remain an outside threat for the Lakers. Everyone will need to stay at home on their defensive assignments rather than chasing penetration since both teams are infatuated with the trey. Stoudemire will get his, but he can be countered by the Laker big men who together should thrive in a half court setting. Marion probably won’t get any plays called, and Odom will attempt to punish him on the offensive blocks, so if he tires and disappears again like he did in last year’s series, things will definitely tighten up again for the Suns.

The X Factor: This could be the biggest series of Kobe Bryant’s life. It almost would have been better for him to have been blown out last year than to be called a quitter. Twenty four minutes of basketball weighed more in many minds than all of his miracles in the past two years, and because of that he is still proclaimed to be the author of vanity and deceit, leading the game away from it’s essence. Those last twenty four minutes of basketball weighed heavily enough on his mind for him to wear them as a constant reminder on his chest, and now he has come full circle. Fair or not, Kobe’s legacy will be affected by his decision making in this series. Will he trust his teammates completely or will his leadership abilities be undermined by a desire for personal vindication?

Series Prediction: Mayhem.

And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone. (Revelation 19:20, KJV)

Lakers in 7.

Chickens Coming Home to Roost?

2007-04-10T17:47:00.000-06:00

That's about all I have to say about that.

“I Don’t Think He’d Wear Yellow…”

2007-04-09T17:18:00.000-06:00

The Lakers lost today for the fifth time in their last seven games and slipped to seventh place in the Western Conference. Today was another example of the inconsistency in Lamar Odom and Smush Parker, who regularly alternate despondence and brilliance. Giving up 115 points today inflated their PA average to an unacceptable 103.2, deeming them inferior to the defensively inept Phoenix Suns (103.1). This is the worst defensive team Phil Jackson has ever coached and with another loss after today, it will be the worst record he has ever finished a season with. Today Kobe Bryant showed why he should be this year’s MVP.

A couple weeks ago, Phil said that the Good Lord himself couldn’t save the Lakeshow. This Easter Sunday, Kobe Bryant couldn’t either. But despite all of this year’s obstacles, because of Kobe the Lakers can reclaim sixth place with a win over Denver tomorrow and keep a playoff date with the Spurs whom they’ve taken two outta three from so far. What would Jesus do?

Kobe’s critics and his supporters will both look to today’s game as fuel for their respective arguments, but the chasm between them is the context. The prevailing logic among the pharisees is that the mark of an MVP is in team performance and Nash’s statistical dominance contributes to wins while Kobe continues to lose. Bullshit.

A teams record is reflective of their performance as a unit, but making it the primary factor in an individual award presupposes that every team is equal in their capabilities, which certainly isn’t the case. Including substitutes, this year’s Western Conference All Star squad had six sets of teammates, led by the Suns with three All Stars. Only Kevin Garnett(32-44), Ray Allen(31-46) and Kobe Bryant(40-37) represented their teams alone. Of them, only Kobe will make the playoffs.

The Suns (58-19) and Lakers (40-37) records may be laughable by comparison at face value, but a more revealing statistic lies underneath. Those same six teams that have multiple All Stars (Dallas, Phoenix, San Antonio, Utah, Houston & Denver) are all ranked ahead of the seventh place Lakers. Against those teams they have posted a respectable record of 9-11. Comparatively, Phoenix is only 10-9 against Western Conference teams above .500. Dallas is an impressive 13-7, led by MVP favorite Dirk Nowitzki, the beneficiary of an even deeper, more disciplined unit. The Lakers are one of the youngest, most inexperienced teams in an undeniably strong Conference. In addition to learning the mysteries of the Triangle, they’ve have also been confounded by a litany of injuries to their starters, who combined have missed more than 80 games. Their starting point guard could be back in the NBDL at any moment, and his backup was just there.

Kobe Bryant’s only deficiency this year was his inability to sustain a superhuman effort to curtail the losing streaks of a team ripe with shortcomings. He’s keeping a woefully substandard roster competitive with the league elite, yet he’s asked to do more? What more could he have done? When the team was at full strength he was taking seven less shots per game and they were battling for homecourt advantage. When Phil cut him loose he made league history and singlehandedly kept the team on track. Missing two or more starters, could any other player put together a five game winning streak by himself with 50 per?

The best player should by definition considered more valuable, yet we use different criteria to judge the two. Only two players this season are averaging 25, 5 & 5-Kobe and LeBron, who has admittedly sleepwalked through the Eastern Conference at times. If not for injury, Dwyane Wade and Tracy McGrady would certainly round out this list- which would also be the consensus of the league’s best overall players. There would be no argument amongst them about who’s number one. There are undoubtedly other statistical marvels in the game, but their effectiveness is dependent upon support. Are we as certain that Nash or Dirk could work their magic on any roster? Only a few can carry a team on pure will, giving us glimpses of the games evolution in their dominance. That’s an MVP. It was in that spirit that Wade was awarded 2006 Finals MVP and Kobe has exhibited an equally impressive performance in leading this M*A*S*H* unit into playoff contention. How long will we sit in awe of his ability and historical greatness yet continue to proclaim someone else more valuable?

Besides Jesus.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May...

2007-04-08T12:57:00.000-06:00

I'll be staying here for a while.

The Shit End of the Schtick.

2007-04-05T12:53:00.000-06:00

He's immortal now. Omnipresent. A source of inspiration for faithful legions, a daunting thought for non-believers. He haunts all who dare take the path to greatness, his face flashing before their eyes, his name ringing in their ears. Michael Jeffrey Jordan may still draw breath among the rest of us in this mortal coil, but Michael "Air" Jordan ascended to the height of basketball deity long ago.

There will never be another. I hope.

The distinctive legacy of Michael Jordan is reflective of much more than late night workouts and last second heroics. It is built upon satellites, sneakers and sports drinks. Upon savvy marketing. Jordan used his rocketing stardom and a sprouting media to cultivate and manipulate an image that made him more than an icon. He became a brand of his own.

Playing for Keeps: Michael Jordan and the World He Made, by David Halberstam--First and foremost, David Stern was determined to turn around the league's image. Stern believed that the league's financial and psychological stability depended upon its corporate connections. he saw and envied the tight, almost symbiotic connection between the National Football League and corporate America, so skillfully engineered by Pete Rozelle. He desperately wanted some of the same corporate endorsements to give his shakier league some badly needed legitimacy. He wanted the best of America's heartland companies as his sponsors, nothing less; he wanted companies such as Coke and McDonald's, signature companies of the postwar nation. If they came aboard, so would everyone else. And so he set out, very early on, to try and bring those companies in.

But when he visited the offices of the nation's great advertising firms, the gatekeepers to the great name-brand companies whose sponsorships he coveted, he found a stone wall of resistance, though many were enthusiastic sponsors of college basketball. One Madison Avenue agency representing an auto company was particularly blunt about it-the ad man said he had been instructed by the head of the auto company to sponsor college ball because the pro game was too black. The answer came back, yes, we know your surveys, but the head of the company-my boss-thinks you're too black. When Stern tried to show the demographic studies that the league had put together, studies that showed that the audience for the professional game was not that different from the college game and that blessedly the viewers were young, he received the blankest of stares. Perception, Stern realized was everything, and the general perception of blue-chip American companies was that the game was tarnished, too much a reflection not of sports but of something most Americans wanted to know as little as possible about: black America...

...The college game was almost as black, but perceptions were important, and the college game was perceived, perhaps, unconsciously, as still operating within a white hierarchy, under powerful white supervision, a world where no matter who the foot soldiers were, the generals were still white. (That was at least part of the reason why many people in the world of sports did not like John Thompson and his Georgetown team, a sense that the white hierarchy did not include or control his particular team. Not only was Thompson himself black, but despite Thompson's insistence that all his players go to class and graduate, the team projected a sense of nascent black consciousness.)

...Stern, like Welts, was absolutely convinced that the core of the resistance was
about race. He believed that if the NBA could show some discipline and limit the worst, or at least the most noticeable, of the current excesses, then people would be able to see the truly compelling parts of the game: the unmatched athletic ability of the players and the fire with which they competed...

...For better or worse, by the eighties America exported not its machine products or its cars but its culture: its fast foods, Cokes and Big Macs; its more relaxed and informal dress codes; its popular music, movies and television shows. And its sports. The ascending new sport in the world, one that was winning ever greater popularity with the young, was not soccer, though that reigned supreme in many parts of the world, but basketball...

...In retrospect, it was inevitable, therefore that the player catapulted forward as the signature commercial representative of this great new athletic-cultural-commercial empire would be an American and a basketball player. The other dominant American sports were eliminated because of the nature of their footwear. There were no international commercial battles to be fought over football cleats or baseball spikes like those waged in the eighties for the right to be the sneaker king of the world. Nike and Converse and Adidas were ar war with each other, and the NBA was the beneficiary. Hamburger and soft drink companies followed...

...As Nike and other companies featured individual players as stars, and as the league and the network became co-conspirators in the promotion of stars, a major new direction, barely understood at the time, was being charted for the league. It was part of a larger new phenomenon taking place in sports, and in society in general, but most nakedly and obviously in basketball. The game and its top people made a fateful choice: They would go with this modern way or their league would perish as a big time sport. Individual players were now being promoted rather than teams. Something that would have been anathema to owners, coaches, and many athletes in the past, the cult of personality, was now, however unconsciously, becoming mandatory as the sport sought to broaden its fan base. Its advocates, owners, and sponsors no longer saw themselves competing against rival teams or even rival sports. Now they were competing in a far larger and more cutthroat arena-against rock stars, movies, and all kinds of other forms of modern entertainment-for a slice of the entertainment dollar...

...So it was that when Michael Jordan came in the league, a vast number of changes were already beginning to take place in terms both of technology and of international economics that would affect his future and of which he was to become a principal beneficiary. David Stern himself later noted that he had barely noticed Jordan's arrival because he was so caught up in the mundane legal and commercial issues that dominated the daily calendar of a commissioner. In fact, what he remembered most about the draft that year was fining Portland for tampering with Akeem Olajuwon. Still, the arrival of Jordan in the very prime of Stern's career was to be one of the great determining factors in the commissioner's singular success. If Stern had sought no just success but a new kind of respectability for his league, then the arrival of Michael Jordan was like the answer to a Dream.

His singular talent made him an immediate draw, but it was his upbringing that laid a foundation for his marketability. Jordan was the child of an upper-middle class family that stressed hard work and education. He was a product of the NCAA's basketball monastery, North Carolina. He avoided any public dialogue on racial matters and was decidedly apolitical, effectually rendering himself appealing to everyone . He learned from youthful mistakes like wearing his Nike warmups and gold chains in the '85 dunk contest. The veterans saw him as a prideful rookie and Magic allegedly conspired with Isiah to freeze him out of the All-Star game.

SLAM 46, Nov. '00--Common interacted with pro hoop royalty while working as a ball boy for the Bulls from '83-87, just as Jordan entered the League. Common's tale of MJ's first day is a classic: "When he first go to the locker room he was playing 'Friends' by Whodini on this little red radio. They weren't really into him playing rap music in the locker room so they asked him to stop. After a good two exhibition games he could have played 'Fuck The Police' if he wanted to.

But he didn't. Not that he should have, there was money to made. Popularity alone didn't make superstars, Jordan understood the value of a neutral image. His thick Carloina accent, the fur coats, the chains and the music all disappeared, replaced with measured tones and immaculately tailored suits. He maintained a natural ease with the camera and a constant awareness of the public eye. Any chance encounter with Michael Jordan was to be not only a brush with athletic excellence, but a contemporary lesson in style and grace. That is what makes a superstar, talent coupled with the illusion of an unattainable superiority.

What didn't make a superstar in the 80's was hip hop. For a player headlining a league that was striving to escape the onus of being "too black", hip hop was plague. Or was it?

The sneakers were fresh. Functional, groundbreaking technology and luxurious material. Wilford Brimley could have sold them, but the Mars Blackmon ads are among the most popular in television history. A celebrity of Jordan's magnitude promoting products with hip hop was certainly a first, but the actual genius of those commercials was having Jordan play the straight man opposite Mars. It gave them true universal appeal, a nod to the buying power of the 'urban' dollar without Jordan blatantly pandering to that audience, something that would have been embarrassingly inauthentic and counter to his role as the charmer of middle America. In just thirty seconds, he had effectively cornered a demographic while avoiding its stigmas.

Mars Blackmon was a character from Spike Lee's first movie, She's Gotta Have It. Mars was diminutive and obnoxious, coincidentally identical to corporate America's perception of hip hop. The scene was still perceived as a passing fad and was relegated to the fringes of pop culture. These ads were cutting edge for their time and established Jordan as the in vogue pitchman, while boosting the worldwide popularity of hip hop culture.

In the summer of 1989 Lee released his second film, Do the Right Thing. It was a scathing critique on modern race relations that forced the discussion on the American public in a way they weren't used to. Lee's loose tongue only fanned the flames of media speculation about rioting. It was controversial, unapologetic and certainly immersed in a 'nascent black consciousness'.

It was also another Air Jordan advertisement.

The ensuing controversy regarding the movie never left a stain on Nike or Jordan, in fact, it only pushed the shoes popularity toward cult status. To the point that kids were killed for them. Nike and Jordan offered genuine concern for the victims, but not much else. The commercials continued with much success and Jordan continued to gorge on the benefits of global exposure without any of the accountability.

Michael certainly valued winning above all else, but he also knew it could only heighten his profile with corporate America. He was clean, articulate, stylish, and well mannered. He was already the most popular player and personality in the league, recruiting casual fans with an assortment of competitive snarls and reassuring smiles amidst his nightly acrobatics, but only a championship would complete his resume. After he captured his first title in 1991, Michael Jordan got what the rest of us truly craved-his own theme song.

But what was Mike really like? Sam Smith was determined to find out. The Jordan Rules was released in the middle of the following season, much to Michael's dismay. The book was stuffed with tales of Jordan's egomanical tirades against teammates and management, including the times he punched Will Perdue for an overly aggressive pick and openly derided Bill Cartwright's abilities as a man and a basketball player before attempting to freeze him out of games. The book was a comprehensive study on the ugly side of Jordan's competitive nature and the desire for these details made it a best seller. But Smith's arms were too short to box with God.

Halberstam--Michael Jordan was not pleased with the book, but he was also aware of his near invulnerability to criticism-the nature of this fame left him largely immune to any assault by a print reporter, in no small part because his team kept on winning. He had long since graduated to a world where the real media world for him was nothing less than network television, and where many television reporters, hungry for access, became as much ambassadors from their networks to him as journalists. What mattered for him was image, and his image glistened; facts were less important, because the only real fact that people cared about was that he and his team kept winning and he remained quite handsome.

Michael Jordan had become an unprecedented economical presence, growing stronger with the success of another championship and the global spotlight of the Olympic Dream Team. He had shaped himself into the mold of the consummate graceful warrior, with the attendant messages of morality and sportsmanship. Years of an appreciatively cooperative media had allowed him to ignore the consequences of building such a false image, but that very image would soon consume him. Jordan had built such a demand for himself and his sport that the once minuscule press corps he had such a camaraderie with could no longer contain it. The game had grown to be covered by an endless phalanx of media, and some did not seek to praise Michael, but to demystify him.

Michael Jordan and the New Global Capitalism, by Walter LaFeber--He told Sports Illustrated that he always tried to be a "positive image" and a "positive influence." "I never thought a role model should be negative," Jordan declared. "If you want negativity, then you wouldn't have asked for Michael Jordan. You might've asked for Mike Tyson or somebody else."

Even if only in small circles, for an athlete of any magnitude to be known as a compulsive gambler is to bear a scarlett letter of suspicion. There is no telling with absolute certainty that they wouldn't bet on their own games, or influence the outcome of games, and people tend to fear for the worst. So for the face of the league-a man of legendary competitiveness-to be known as a compulsive gambler was to risk being burned at the stake. But Michael Jordan was positive. Positive that he would win, if he didn't he was positive he could afford it. If word about his gambling spread, he was positive it wouldn't matter because of his positive image. So when the losses added up, and the word got out, and people dared question his character, he was absolutely, positively appalled.

Continued...

Women I Would Settle For, Vol IV. "Less Than Twenty Four Hours Left..."

2007-04-05T11:10:00.000-06:00

Tarantino & Rodriguez must be a Laker fans. Rose McGowan’s character had to be inspired by Kobe, who has a gun for an arm. See you at midnight ladies. But do me a favor, wear something a little more revealing. Sex sells you know...

The Prince.

2007-03-31T13:58:00.000-06:00

Kobe's new nickname. It's so appropriate. But let's talk more about this later.

1996-1997

1997-2003

2003-2006

Free Original Recipe & Biscuits For Everyone!

2007-03-31T12:17:00.000-06:00

ESPN--Phil Jackson's resume includes nine NBA titles and more than 900 victories. Soon, he'll be able to add Hall of Famer to that list.

The Lakers' head coach, who's probably most famous for guiding Michael Jordan and the Bulls to two separate three-peats, will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this September, the Los Angeles Times reported.

While Jackson hasn't been a head coach for the necessary 25 years, his time as an assistant with the Bulls and the Nets counts toward his overall service, the newspaper reported.

Jackson will be the Lakers' 18 inductee into the Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass.

"Put Words Together Just To Match, I Say What I Feel, Y'All Adjust to That..."

2007-03-30T00:11:00.000-06:00

"So much for objective journalism. Don't bother to look for it here-not under any byline of mine; or anyone else that I can think of. With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms."--Hunter S. Thompson

"I just tackle the subject, get flak from the public? It's nothin', I know real niggas happen to love it. And if you don't like it, then look in the mirror-most likely, you 'aint live it, so you don't get it. You 'aint did it, so you can't envision, the picture I'm painting 'aint vivid, the language I'm spittin' is so foreign to you. See what starvin'll do to you? Growing up hard in a little apartment'll do to you? I'm just talkin' to you. I'm just talkin through you..."--Jay-Z

If you gave me three letters to describe the world of basketball, I'd say NBA. If I had four, I'd say SLAM. Pictured above is the last decade of the league, and the next one. Nearly all of them have roots in the magazine, many featured multiple times, including LeBron James who practically grew up between its pages. After 13 years, SLAM continues to comb the landscape while celebrating the progress and culture of the game.

There is a more conservative segment of basketball journalists who drape themselves in the flag of objective journalism and denounce SLAM as the insignificant ramblings of crazed fans armed with press passes. Others dismiss it as a mere cult of cliched personalities. It is not the hallowed institution that is Sports Illustrated or that mammoth conglomerate of a four letter word, ESPN, but by tailoring their focus to basketball SLAM can measure it's pulse like no other publication, with comprehensive coverage of high school, college and professional hoops. Every year the game's elite tell their stories through the pages of SLAM, and to honor it's foundation, more than half of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players have been featured in the Old School section since the magazine's inception. There have also been re-emergences-if only for a brief moment-from the doldrums of obscurity by Charlie Scott, Earl Lloyd, Jackie Jackson and Cliff Hagan, among others. Who? Exactly. SLAM is required reading for a complete basketball education.

The folly of objective journalism is in the assumption that one can speak with absolute neutrality, which requires an omniscience that is simply impossible. We're all products of upbringings that have sculpted our worldview, and those outlooks are what make us different. That is why we value a Thompson, Halberstam, or Wiley, for that unique voice which came from their sensibilities. I say that not to declare this magazine as the literary gold standard, but to assert that we can never completely understand or appreciate a subject until it's been viewed from every angle, and that comes from a multitude of perspectives. SLAM dared to take a new one, and after 108 issues they've become synonymous with the game without boring me with their wives, their parents or some fucking schmuck named 'House'. Thanks guys.

Just My Type...

2007-03-29T13:58:00.000-06:00

ESPN--"I've got big-time lawyers," Richardson said, according to the Times Union. "I've got big-time Jew lawyers."

When told by the reporters that the comment could be offensive to people because it plays to the stereotype that Jews are crafty and shrewd, he responded with, "Are you kidding me? They are. They've got the best security system in the world. Have you ever been to an airport in Tel Aviv? They're real crafty. Listen, they are hated all over the world, so they've got to be crafty."

And he continued, "They got a lot of power in this world, you know what I mean?" he said. "Which I think is great. I don't think there's nothing wrong with it. If you look in most professional sports, they're run by Jewish people. If you look at a lot of most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they're run by Jewish. It's not a knock, but they are some crafty people."

Richardson, the fourth overall pick in the 1978 draft, is best known for an embattled NBA career that ended because of drugs. He joined the NBA out of Montana and played eight seasons with the New York Knicks, Golden State Warriors and New Jersey Nets. He was the subject of a 2000 film "What Happened to Micheal Ray?" documenting his troubled life.

In his second year, Richardson became only the second player in NBA to lead in both assists and steals. In 1986, the four-time NBA All-Star was banned for life after he violated the league's drug policy three times in what David Stern called "the hardest thing I've ever had to do as commissioner."

He obviously thought he was being complimentary. Richardson retained the services of Rabinowitz & Saperstein for the same reason that Paul Hornung wants more black athletes at Notre Dame, stereotypes. While they maintain a basis in reality, even well intentioned stereotypes can be a breeding ground for ignorance. If a certain sect of people are naturally superior in performing certain tasks then that assumption in itself lends credence to the idea of these same people revealing natural inferiorities elsewhere. It's a slippery slope that is best avoided. Nonetheless, every race continues to show a propensity for something and we are all guilty of making light of these patterns. In the absence of malice they should be taken in stride and let's address offenses with the ideal of preventing future occurrences through dialogue, not a muzzle.

In the spirit of respecting the talents of our Jewish friends, here is another generalization: Jews are funny.

Just because.

2007-03-29T10:43:00.000-06:00

What Would Stu Do?

2007-03-28T12:43:00.000-06:00

Im watching you...

"We Talkin' 'Bout Practice!"

2007-03-27T15:54:00.000-06:00

After seeing Roscoe's shot last night, a lot of folks would immediately think of Jerry West's half court buzzer beater to tie game 3 of the 1970 NBA Finals. Granted, you can't compare the pressure of a championship to the monotony of a meaningless March match up, but Wallace's shot was still better. A running start off the inbounds pass compared to an immediate turnaround set shot off of a steal? No contest.

George Karl thought it was luck.

Wonder what A.I. thought.

Women I Would Settle For, Vol. III: "Cause I've Forgotten All of Young Love's Joy..."

2007-03-27T11:33:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry baby. I didn't know. I made some harsh-and rash-judgements. It's just that I'm jaded and when they described you to me I wasn't impressed. A Jewish Brit with a fondness for Miles Davis and Nas covers? Certainly the makings of a dream girl (You probably know the Kosherist lawyers...) but, well, I don't know-just 'but'. I figured you didn't even know who Apache was. I have a real reluctance to embrace white artists who gain notoriety by performing historically black music. What begins as an acknowledgement of imitation eventually becomes a usurping of the art form. White artists have access to an audience that may be hesitant to support a black artist of the same caliber, and through this audience the perception grows that the white artist may in fact be superior. This perception is then established as fact through revisionist history. Basically baby, I thought you were Elvis. I fucking hate Elvis. But I'm sorry. I didn't know.

I thought you were just some overzealous neophyte who was trying to gain credibility through your influences. Etta James, Sarah Vaughn and Minnie Ripperton are good so why shouldn't I just listen to their records instead of yours? Instead, I threw on some Ghostface only to feel like an idiot. That was you. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

I didn't know about your '03 UK debut. I didn't know Salaam Remi himself produced it. It still probably wouldn't have mattered to me, I'd have just lumped you in with Christina Aguliera and Joss Stone. Mrs. Dirrty's act is tired to me and Joss is pretty limited. Then I stopped talking, stopped judging, stopped jumping to conclusions, and started listening. Your sound is everything they said it was and more. A five octave range over break beats and Motown throwbacks? My ear actually orgasmed.

I hear you like to drink-perhaps a bit too much-and used to enjoy the occasional spliff. And a bump or two. Maybe one of those pills too. A woman after so many of our own hearts. You're a tattooed, foul mouthed, unapologetic, honest and intelligent woman. I've sat across diner tables burning through packs of cigarettes past dawn with other women such as yourself, but none of them ever sang to me like you. Or had a British accent and a thing for doorknocker earrings. Amy Winehouse, it's only been twelve hours and I think I love you. Just don't tell Scarlett.

"Valerie" (Zutons cover.)

"Stronger Than Me" @ Jools Holland 11/03

Music Video.

"In My Bed" Music Video.

"He Can Only Hold Her" @ Joe's Pub 1/07

"Rehab" @ Brit Awards 2007

Music Video.

"Never Mind The Buzzcocks"

The Book of Bombaata

2007-03-25T17:39:00.000-06:00

No matter how bright he shines tonight, or any other night, Kobe Bryant wont ever escape the eclipse that is Wilt Chamberlain. Kobe will never make three pointers so easily that the line will be moved back, or fly so high that we deny him by raising the rim, but his every step into a widened lane is a reminder of Wilt's dominance.

No matter how many pirouetting fade aways, sniper deep treys or demoralizing dunks Kobe puts in, he'll still be expected to do more. Because Wilt did. When Chamberlain conceded his eighth consecutive scoring crown in '67, he traded it for the field goal(.683) and rebounding(24.2) titles, and led the league in assists in '68. These are some of his more forgettable accomplishments. The entire record book is a reflection of Wilt's dominance, not just the scoring section. Pick a record, any record, it's probably his.

Bow down.

"...Probably Maim You, If I Owe You I'm Blowin' You To Smithereens..."

2007-03-23T20:19:00.000-06:00

New Orleans, LA, March 23 (AP) -- Kobe Bryant is making 50-point games look routine. Bryant finished with exactly 50, becoming only the second NBA player to hit that mark in four straight games and leading Los Angeles to a 111-105 victory over the New Orleans Hornets on Friday night.

Only Wilt Chamberlain has exceeded that mark, scoring at least 50 points in seven consecutive games during the 1961-62 season.

ESPN--Bryant also spoke to a few other items both related and unrelated to his scoring streak:

• He said he still considers Bruce Bowen of the San Antonio Spurs the player who defends him best.

• He said he does not think he merits MVP consideration this season, because that award should be reserved for a player on a team with one of the NBA's best records. "You have to honor that. When we get to that point, then maybe I'll get some consideration."

• He claimed he did not know he had 48 points before hitting a tough jumper over Rasual Butler with 5:12 left. "I went up to [assistant coach] Brian Shaw and said, 'Did I get 50 already?' " One player who did know Bryant was on 48 was Butler. "I didn't like being a part of history that way," Butler told me.

• Bryant acknowledged that his scoring streak was spurred by the national debate over whether he was a dirty player after he was suspended twice for elbowing opponents in the face. "For me, that was insulting. To have people talking about something else is a much better thing."

• You may notice on the highlights of Friday night's game how Bryant high-fived a young boy midway through the third quarter after hitting a sick 3-pointer from the left side with a defender draped all over him. I asked Kobe: Why the high-five? "It was a little kid, and he had said, 'What's up,' and I said, 'What's up' back. And I told him: 'Watch this 3. I've got a 3 for you.' "

L.A. Times Laker Blog-... but frankly the Loch Ness Monster could have done a two-step with Tupac at halfcourt of the New Orleans Arena and we'd still be talking about the fact that Kobe has scored fifty or more in four straight games. Can he/the Lakers make it five on Sunday against Golden State? We'll find out.

"...It 'Aint To Play Games Wit You, It's To Aim At You..."

2007-03-22T21:01:00.000-06:00

Memphis, Tenn., March 22 (AP) -- Kobe Bryant became the fourth player in NBA history to score at least 50 points in three straight games Thursday night. Bryant scored 60 points in the Los Angeles Lakers' 121-119 win over the Memphis Grizzlies. Bryant was 20-for-37 from the field, including 3-for-7 from 3s, and 17 of 18 from the free-throw line.

The last Laker with three consecutive 50-point games was Hall of Famer Elgin Baylor in December 1962. Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain are the only other players with three straight 50-point games.

"It just feels great,'' Bryant said of joining Baylor, Jordan and Chamberlain. "It's really special and very humbling to be in the same company.''

When the Lakers were in that 7 game losing streak, crippled by injuries, everyone knew that Kobe was going to be cut loose. This was practically inevitable, and that is what makes it so special. The fufillment-and raising-of expectations. This is greatness.

Who's next? New Orleans? Byron Scott must have his arms folded somethin' fierce right now. "Kobe scored 60? Throw some D on that bi.."

* I had to play this. I can't stop listening to it. Oh, almost forgot. Enjoy.

Michael Jordan's consecutive 50 pointers.

"When I Come Back Like Jordan, Wearin' the .45..."

2007-03-18T23:58:00.000-06:00

Elias-Kobe Bryant scored 50 points in the Lakers' 109-102 victory over the Timberwolves on Sunday night. Combined with his 65 points on Friday night, Bryant's two-game total of 115 matches the third highest in the last 40 NBA seasons -- topped only by Kobe's own 118 points over two games last season and Michael Jordan's 118 in 1990. Wilt Chamberlain did it many times, the last of which was 115 points over two games in December 1967 -- just within that 40-year window.

The Hugh Hefner of This Shit.

2007-03-17T21:50:00.000-06:00

I'll say it again, Kobe Bryant is the greatest scorer in the history of the game. The numbers may never truly reflect it, since he spent almost a decade alongside another dominant scorer, but somewhere even Money's tongue is wagging in admiration. It's always been nothing less than amusing to hear Kobe dismissed as nothing more than a clone, when in fact he has improved the blueprint.

Fundamental ball handling involves a soundness of footwork and a clarity of vision. Good ball handlers recognize and attack openings in the defense off the dribble with either hand. In addition to these balanced and measured steps, keen guards are quicker in their direction and decision making with the ball, maintaining an awareness of exactly when to halt the dribble and shoot or pass. The exceptional player employs a variety of jab steps, back steps, hop steps, spin moves and pivots to acquire space for a scoring opportunity. The more moves a player has, the less decisive their defenders can be. Michael Jordan had all of these moves in spades, including a wonderful crossover jab step. But what he didn't have was a killer crossover, the ultimate ball handling weapon for a player with a jump shot and an ability to attack the rim. Kobe does. One dribble and two steps gets him to the rim like nothing. Just the thought of it made Fred Jones fall over.

Necessity is the mother of invention. Layups are a tricky bunch, you can lay them too hard off the glass-or too soft. That's if you don't have one roll out or hit the back of the rim. Everyone knows that the highest percentage shot in basketball is to just jump up there and cram it in, but the problem lies in the execution. Several basketball players can dunk, just not from either foot, with either hand, in or outside the paint over whomever they please. Kobe's size, strength, quickness and agility make him a constant threat from any angle, but when he loads his springs on the baseline, smart defenders just walk away. Slackers like Doug Christie, Andrei Kirelenko and Kevin Garnett stick around and get dunked on. Word to the wise fellas, his baseline reverse windmill is indefensible, stop jumping.

Jordan's fade away and Cap's sky hook are the two most unstoppable shots in basketball history. They either make it or they don't, they never get blocked. The difference between the fade and hook is that a player has to commit to the hook. Once a pivot foot is chosen and the initial move is made, there is no possible counter move except traveling. An ability to drop step into an easy two off of either foot on the low block opens up options for an offensive player. Turn inside and dunk or fake it, turn outside and fade away. Or fake it, turn outside, and pivot around the defender again for a layup-another classic Jordan move. Thing is, Jordan wasn't using the fade until the end of his career and he was a free throw or below player. Kobe's bigger and stronger and uses the fade away everywhere. The low block, the pinch post, top of the key, three point baseline, anywhere he pleases, Kobe will go into that shake n' fade over either shoulder and if you step into it, he'll fade back further and still make it. Or step through and have a clear shot at the rim.

Anticipating the fade away causes defenders to play off of him in catch and shoot situations, so Kobe just goes into the step back jumper. Life is so unfair.

What's really fucked up is that the scariest part of Kobe's offensive game is on the perimeter. Play him out to thirty feet and he'll still J you without even putting the ball on the floor.

Wait until he busts this one out again...

Ball handling, attacking the basket along with strong post and perimeter play all mean nothing if they cannot be summoned at will. Kobe Bryant can score when it's absolutely necessary, even when the defense knows he's the only option, under any circumstances. He has mastered the fifth element.

And now, some Classic Wiley...

Note to self: Add another nickname to the list of Kobe the Destroyer and Kobe the Finisher -- Kobe the Puppet Master.

Note to all: Kobe Bryant has become the most unstoppable scoring force in the game, in a line with Wilt, O, Zeke from Cabin Creek, Rick Barry, Abdul-Jabbar, the Iceman, Doc, David, Zeke from West Side Chi, McAdoo, Bird, Jordan.

Observing Kobe's most recent scoring jag -- 44.6 per in the last five, nine straight with 35 points or more, best scoring run-out the NBA has seen since the mid-'80s, when Mike Jordan was 24 and 25, the same age Kobe is now -- we may conclude Kobe is the greatest scoring force in the league.

Ever.

Sit down. Go with me for a minute. Understand that, just for today, we're leaving Dog and all the other Kobe-haters and Kobe-stoppers and Kobe-controllers home on this op.

We are talking raw ball here, not from the exalted seat of a fan or the controlling seat of a coach, but first from over Kobe's shoulder as he posts us up -- from playing off him as he's facing us, reading his body lean; then with him -- keeping the spacing correct, salivating as our man slides his way and we come open for the 18-footer that can win a game; and finally, from inside his head -- God, it's cluttered in here!

First, any guy who can score 42.3 over five in the NBA, and reference Pinocchio's Gepetto at the same time, is a man to be watched, studied, and possibly feared. "I felt like Gepetto," Kobe said after one of his recent exposés. He felt like the defenders were on the strings he held. Admittedly, many fans didn't get the reference. Maybe Kobe should've said he felt like Brando in "The Godfather" -- "... and I refused ... to dance on the strings, held by the big shots."

Defenders aren't the only ones dancing on the strings held by Kobe the Puppet Master. His teammates and coaches and observers are, too. This shock of the new is often exhilirating, but it invariably causes some to seek balance and comfort in the past. Why, I don't know, but it does.

And what we've seen from Kobe in this scoring streak (not to mention coinciding with Shaq's new mortality; the first seven games of Kobe's 35-plus streak were wins; the last two, against the Spurs and Knicks, were losses) is new. Or it's new to me, I should say. I just have not seen many guys make nine straight 3-pointers in competition, make them with no strain, like they were elbow jumpers; I haven't seen those one-bounce-dive-from-a-wing evasive dunks before. Have you? Oh, we've seen where they got started, but ...

I try not to fear, hate or resent him. Or lecture him, or control him, tell him how he failed at some level of hoop.

Besides, even if I'd been in a mood to try it, I didn't think I could back it up. Maybe Jerry West could talk to him like that. Maybe Broke Daddy, Ol' Jingle-Jangle-Jingle, Phil Jackson, one of my favored old Knicks, could do it, maybe. Jordan, sure. Someone should ask Jordan. Do you have any real big problem with the application of Kobe's game? What do you think Jordan would say? "Yeah, I do. He's not running the offense right, or dreaming about it enough."

Right. Last I looked, at 24, Kobe the Destroyer had won three NBA rings in a row, and now is currently looking for a fourth in a row. So me chastizing him, at my advanced age, despite my long history of watching and being on the beats and studying the NBA, from the Rick Barry, Gus Williams, Silk Wilkes, Phil Smith NBA champion Warriors of 1975 and 1976, on through Bird, Magic, Isiah, Dumars, Akeem, MJ, and on until today ... well, no. But, still, Kobe does not know that, and it would only mildly amuse him if he did.

So me telling him what he was not doing in the process of his three-ring accomplishments would be like Ron Turcotte pulling out a knotted whip and beating Secretariat with it as Big Red was in the process of winning the Belmont Stakes by 28 lengths. It would be not only grandstanding, it could even be seen as cruel. So I said what I said to him -- "Kid, you really put on a show" - and then, later on, I thought about what I'd said, a few days after last Thanksgiving, as the Lakes were trying to get by without Shaquille O'Neal.

Kobe had nodded, not as if he understood me so much as he appreciated me not using the whip on him. And while it is true that a thoroughbred responds to the whip and a mule bucks and sucks, the thoroughbred can also become sick of the whip if misapplied too often, and with too much relish.

So a human thoroughbred starts to think about spitting the bit and running elsewhere, where whips and chains and self-important appraisals are not so often forthcoming, for a man without a temper is not worth his salt. Or, if he's Kobe the Finisher, he can also become Kobe the Puppet Master, and let people rant or rave or do St. Vitus' dance however they chose as he pulls the strings and levers of his dominant basketball talents. I'd like to see what Charlie Kaufman could do with this guy's head. In an Association with at least eight other truly great players, and a good 50 or so who can drop 40 on a given night, Kobe rules. As yours truly pointed out in GQ last summer, days after the Lakes had won a third straight NBA title, if Kobe's hands were as big as Michael's, they'd have to shut down the league.

"Would you ever consider playing here?" I asked Kobe the Destroyer. We were in Memphis at the time. He had just dropped 44 on the Griz, yet the Lakes barely won. Jerry West runs the NBA club there in Memphis, as you know. Kobe looked at me strangely. Smart. Didn't say yes or no.

That Gepetto reference he used after one of his recent explosions means not just that he is atypical, but that he also has a much broader frame of reference than one suspected. He must understand what's good for the team, in a ball sense. And also, when someone is reflexively trying to jerk him. He must know that in a perfect world and game of hoop, yes, no question, the ball never touches the floor. It hits all the hands, and when the defense doubles or overcompensates, the perfect team swings it, swings it, swings it, and the last man down gets the look, and makes. So I mentioned this too. "Of course. And you also know we don't live in a perfect world," his look said, "or play on a perfect team for perfect men."

It will still be him who is expected to lift the Lakers, not Shaq, not Phil, not the spear-carriers; and when they lose -- not if, when, because Sacramento is better and deeper, and not even Jordan won them all -- it will all be brought back home to him. I saw it happen to Magic. It is what happens, in the short term, in the day-to-day coverage. The newspaper (and now the website) is going to come out every day, isn't it, Max Mercy?

Kobe the Puppet Master paused. I looked at him and said, "Look, what's good for the team is the ball in the basket."

I did not say he had played stupidly, as Kobe the Puppet Master had made Tex Winter say. I did not look askance at him. I did not feel a disconnect from him, as some fans of the hip-hop generation do, or people in Philly, who despise him because they feel he turned his back on them, or even Jerry Buss, who did not hang out with him and shoot pool and run over to the Playboy mansion or take him under his wing as a business protégé, as Buss did with his boy Magic.

In return, Kobe did not say I spoke stupidly, he did not look askance at me, or act disconnected from me or my boy Cole, also in attendance and studying our brief by-play intently. School was in for everybody.They both looked relieved that such a simple statement would be made by the doddering old man to the youth he could know but never really control, instead of an off-color harangue, or a lecture on some hoop theory on how the greatest scoring machine in basketball could make better use of his court time. He has been told enough that what's good for the team is getting everybody else looks; well, of course, in a perfect world, that is true. But what's good for the team is the ball in the basket -- if he gets his teammates shots, they have to make. It's not physics, but a much simpler kind of math.

You must understand that Kobe learned from Jordan and West that it is will that carries the day ... and so that same will that is essential to beat such good teams as the Spurs and the Kings is difficult to tamp down when teammates don't hit the open shots that your move has allowed them to see. The player of greatness will takes matters into his own hands.

Especially when you are the greatest scoring weapon in basketball, and possibly the greatest scoring weapon in the history of basketball. He is the greatest because he is the latest. He is the greatest now. He must press that edge.

Hope you're still watching R-Dub.

Yawn.

2007-03-17T12:19:00.000-06:00

L.A. Times Lakers Blog-So tonight's official Kobe Team Hoisting Stat of the Game: He scored 24 of the Lakers 30 fourth quarter points, on 9-11 from the field, including a perfect 4-4 from downtown. Those are video game numbers. Not surprisingly, the postgame chatter centered around 24. Unlike last season's 81 pointer against Toronto, during which Sam Mitchell never seemed to think Kobe was worthy of a double team, Nate McMillan did what he could (especially late) to deny Kobe the ball and contest his shots. Not that it mattered. "You just got to tip your hat to Kobe. Just an unbelievable performance," he said. "We had a chance to win this game, but he made some tough shots. Probably over half his shots were with a hand in his face, and we tried to double team- he made those, too."

Kobe said this game was, in his mind, up there with some of his best, especially when you consider how badly the Lakers needed to win. As for the ridiculous twisty three from the corner he buried in OT, "I just tried to create some space. I knew the shot clock was winding down, and I was able to create a little space with my body," Bryant said. "I was able to elevate and felt like I got a good look at it."

50 minutes. 65 points. 23-39 FGM-A. 8-12 3PM-A. 11-12 FTM-A. 7 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals and only 2 turnovers. Do you realize how efficient of a performance that is? He could've missed his next four three pointers and three more field goals after that and still would've been 50%. This was on practically nothing but 18+ft jumpers. He could do it again tomorrow and I wouldn't bat an eyelash. Bear witness to the greatest scorer in NBA history.

Just A Little Somethin' to Break the Monotony...

2007-03-16T13:58:00.000-06:00

My top 20 music videos. Not songs, music videos.

20. The Pharcyde, "Drop"

19. Radiohead, "Karma Police"

18. Madonna, "Like A Prayer"

17. B.I.G., "Sky's the Limit"

16. The Game, "Wouldn't Get Far"

15. Jamiroquai, "Virtual Insanity"

14. Busta Rhymes, "Gimme Some More"

13. Geto Boys, "Mind Playin' Tricks On Me"

12. Ghostface Killah, "All That I Got Is You"

11. Madvillain, "All Caps"

10. Pearl Jam, "Do the Evolution"

9. Busta Rhymes, "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See"

8. Ol' Dirty Bastard, "Got Your Money"

7. Gnarls Barkley, "Smiley Faces"

6. Jay-Z, "99 Problems"

5. The Roots, "What They Do"

4. Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"

3. The White Stripes, "Fell In Love With A Girl"

2. George Michael, "Freedom '90"

1. Jeru The Damaja, "Ya Playin' Yaself"

Women I'd Settle For, Vol. II

2007-03-16T02:05:00.000-06:00

Fill in the blank:

After ____________________ , Kim Kardashian became the league leader in double-doubles.

Keep It Pimpin'?

2007-03-15T14:10:00.000-06:00

Tuesday night's episode of Costas Now was a one hour synopsis of why I can't stand the NCAA-or Bob Costas. I wish I could provide the entire video, but here's a recap:

After a series of interviews with college athletes and professors which reinforce the notion that many revenue producing student-athletes are essentially cash cows whose last concern is the classroom, a panel discussion is held.

Sally Jenkins, Washington Post: "The NBA and NFL are using the NCAA as a developmental league and the NCAA is more than willing to take the money."

Reggie Miller, NBA Legend: "I agree with you 100%"

Myles Brand, NCAA president: "Um, er, ah..."

Bob Costas, Hypocrite: "But doesn't the media bear some responsiblity for promoting it?"

Bob then proceeds to fellate Coach K

Why do I suddenly want to switch to State Farm Insurance? Who put this American Express application in my pocket?

Enjoy the tournament.

Jason Whitlock's Scarecrow.

2007-03-14T15:32:00.000-06:00

I really didn't want to talk about Jason Whitlock again. But alas, I'm merely a moth drawn to the flames of his sagacious observations.

*Via Lion in Oil (He asked the important questions, but I have a few followups....)

Q: What was the impetus that made you call for another civil rights movement and label a certain segment of the African-American community “the black KKK?”

“I think that to some degree and extent people are misguided and think that there is a lack of dissent in the black community. Meaning, basically, that African-Americans are all good with what is going on in the community. But I hear black people having these conversations all the time. I’m aware that we are not all good with it. Yet, we rarely offer any type of dissent. If we ignore it, it’s only going to get worse. We are going down a slippery negative slope. The hip-hop, prison values.... No one is coming out and saying this isn’t healthy for young people and that these aren’t appropriate values. "

So Jason, you're saying that there is dissent in the black community but it's not publicly offered? Are you serious? Maybe if you weren't continually showing us an ostrich impression with that bag of Cheetos you wouldn't have missed the past decade.

Q: Some say that your comparison of what you define as the “Black KKK” to the KKK that most Americans are familiar with is foolish, absurd and even dangerous. How do you respond to such criticism?

“Well, why don’t we count the bodies? Body by body- The tears are the same and the pain is the same. The violence is just so senseless. The fear that the gang-bangers prey on in the community is the same type of fear generated by the KKK. I understand that this is a strong analogy and I knew some people would be offended. But I’m trying to spark a new consciousness. These gang-bangers are alleging to be pro-black when they really are anti-black.”

It's ignorant and disingenuous to just compare body counts Jason, especially if you're not going to even address intent or influence.

Q: I’ve noticed in the last two columns you’ve written involving the African-American community you are quite blunt in describing various problems within it. However, you skirt the issue of offering solutions. What are some solutions that might have a tangible and ameliorating affect?

“I think the most important thing is embracing education. We can’t let kids go to school and continue to be ridiculed for talking properly. Getting an education is not acting white. People are called ‘sell-outs’ for talking properly. Additionally, hip-hop culture has become an expression of prison values. 25% of guys in my generation in the black community are incarcerated because of our country’s punitive drug laws. We can’t keep continuing to build prisons and creating these punitive cages. We have to rehabilitate people. Some people even need to be ‘habilitated.’ Non-violent offenders need to be treated differently than violent-offenders.”

That's your solution Jason? Stay in school, don't do drugs? Inspiring.

Q: Do you think African-American athletes are partly to blame for some of the ills we are now witnessing the African-American community struggle with?

“No, not at all. We can’t single out athletes. A lot of these kids are coming out of hip-hop culture and don’t know any better. But we are now seeing the major sports shop for talent outside of the African-American community. Major League Baseball has made a concerted effort to shop outside. They are in love with foreign athletes and I think it’s definitely an intentional decision on their part. I think there is some racism to it and also some rejection of the culture.

David Stern, who I think is a very, very fine commissioner, has been bending-over backwards to get guys to see the big-picture. But you have league-owners who are very uncomfortable with hip-hop culture. People will be entertained by whatever color athletes are, but this culture has made owners really uncomfortable. We have to learn to accept that people have a problem with this prison/hip-hop culture. Chris Rock, Bill Cosby talk about it. Black people talk about it all the time, believe me. We have to sit down and talk about this in a serious manner. It’s limiting us and our opportunities.”

Again, you're addressing an imaginary mass-referred to as "people". People who are unaware of the uproar in the black community. People who have a problem with hip hop. Prison too. Who are these "people" Jason? White people, black people, you? I thought the masses were unaware of the dissent within the black community, how can you subsequently reference Chris Rock and Bill Cosby, two of Americas favorite comedians? What's with comedians anyway? Why don't you have a bigger frame of reference?

Q: Are there any athletes out there today who are working to make the changes that you think are needed?

“I don’t think it’s possible for one person to be able to change everything. I definitely think there can be guys like Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali. But none of the guys are doing that. Yet, sometimes we forget that charismatic black leaders told Ali, Brown, Tommie Smith and John Carlos (1968 Olympic medal winners who famously raised their fists in a black power salute) what to do. These guys were led. No one is leading them today. It’s a failure of black leadership. But we can’t blame athletes. They are too immature.”

Now you're challenging black leadership as a whole? Athletes are too immature? Perhaps you should pass me the Twinkies and show 'em how it's done.

Q: Have you read Dave Zirin’s, “An Open Letter to Jason Whitlock.” If so, what are your feelings regarding the comments he made?

“I think Dave’s heart is in the right place. But Dave needs to let black people handle this. We need to have this series of arguments and debates. I say this nicely as possible, but Dave just needs to mind his own business. That doesn’t mean non-blacks can’t help. Obviously, some white people played a great role in the civil-rights movement. I don’t know if Dave just wants to draw attention to his blog or what, but he should just mind his business.”

Dave wanted to draw attention to the facts. Given your aversion to logic and research, you might be a bit more niggerish than you thought, Jason.

Q: What is it going to take for African-Americans to have this “conversation” that you consistently bring up?

“I think we are already there. It’s been bubbling. There are prominent blacks out there discussing this. Chris Rock, Bill Cosby, Juan Williams. They are out there. I knew when I gave the Big Lead interview that people were ready for this. I made the decision to go to AOL because of its association with pop culture. I knew I’d have the freedom to discuss this and spur debate. I knew it was just a matter of time before this conversation could happen. It is taking place right now. And I’m going to continue pushing the need for conversation. But now, I want to take it to another level. People need to really think about hip-hop culture. This stuff is straight out of the penitentiary and you cannot live that way out here in the real world.”

Again with the comedians? Think bigger Jason. Or are you ignoring the efforts of others in a vainglorious attempt to build your own profile? Do you realize you're hindering honest discussion by trivializing our country's past and current ills with your fear mongering? Do you even realize that this issue is rooted in things much bigger than sports, and that it may require analysis by someone other than a fucking sportswriter, especially one as limited as yourself?

Q: While there are prominent African-American sports writers and journalists out there, African-Americans are still under-represented in the field. Two questions:
(1) How did you get your start out of Ball State? (2) What advice would you give a young African-American sports journalist fresh out of college who is hoping to embark on a journalism career?

“Well, I studied journalism in college and worked for the school newspaper. My first job was in Bloomington, Indiana for the Bloomington Herald Times. I made five dollars an hour. Then I moved to South Carolina and covered high school sports for two years. After that, I moved to Ann Arbor, where I covered the Fab Five. As for advice, I would start off by telling the kid to not be afraid to move to another city. Work at a small newspaper and hone your skills. Don’t be afraid to be different and definitely don’t go in with the expectation that the ride will be smooth and easy. You have to be committed.”

Thanks for the advice, Jason. Are you gonna eat that? Ouch! Sorry, stupid question.

Women I'd Settle For, Vol. I

2007-03-14T15:00:00.000-06:00

Q:Kerry Washington is to Scarlett Johansson as:

a)Elgin Baylor is to Jerry West
b)Magic Johnson is to Larry Bird
c)Kobe Bryant is to Steve Nash
d)All of the above

A: A, why choose between them if you can get them to play together? And in throwback shorts?

Not That It Matters...

2007-03-13T13:01:00.000-06:00

I've come to learn that this little blog of mine shares it's title with an A.A. Milne book. Yes, the Pooh guy. After reading it, I'm more than pleased with this coincidence. No top stories will ever be broken here, nor will there be any exclusive interviews. To my right are several salient scribes who have left the lot of us searching for falling scraps off of their table. They run the gamut of news and opinion on practically all things NBA rendering any subsequent offerings redundant at best. As others, I blog in the spirit of the esteemed and offer my occasional two cents, but perhaps that isn't enough. What are my motivations? I don't need this space to egoize or malign. I have no personal agendas, vendettas nor connections. What then, is there to gain from this exercise? Is this how I want to spend my life? Throwing silly questions into the wind? Among other things, yes. Long live the NBA.

What is the state of the NBA? How did we get here? Where are we going? Who will lead?

Not me, I'm just watching like the rest of you. When I say that "it" doesn't matter, I mean not only what I think, but all of this. Only a lowbottom, down to the last link, NBA fiend could have stumbled upon this dimly lit corner of the interwebs, scouring it's scant pages for just one more hit of anything be it video, stat or opinion. Whilst you point and click down the ol' Carpal Tunnel, let me remind you-I get high on this shit too. I can identify with the incredulous tongue lashings you must have received from a more conscious and responsible citizenry-those who want to know "how you can watch so much of that shit? None of it matters."Of course you could remind them of the NBA's worldwide social and economical impact, but their recurring question would be what do you as the indivdual reap from this fool's bargain? Like a fool, you should respond monosyllabically. Joy. From a willingness to sacrifice for the greater good. Long live the NBA.

Tyler tells me that on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everything is zero and that this will end up as another waste of my time. I wholeheartedly agree with him, but I care for these things nonetheless. He tells me that I line the pockets of tyrants who mock what I hold dear. I say I am the building block of an empire of love. This game has touched lives and inspires greatness. All of these things matter because of fans, and as others, I am proud of that.

He tells me the Lakers are a bunch of pussies these days.

Long live the NBA.

The Pleasure of Writing, by A.A. Milne

Sometimes when the printer is waiting for an article which really
should have been sent to him the day before, I sit at my desk and
wonder if there is any possible subject in the whole world upon
which I can possibly find anything to say. On one such occasion I
left it to Fate, which decided, by means of a dictionary opened
at random, that I should deliver myself of a few thoughts about
goldfish. (You will find this article later on in the book.) But
to-day I do not need to bother about a subject. To-day I am
without a care. Nothing less has happened than that I have a new
nib in my pen.

In the ordinary way, when Shakespeare writes a tragedy, or Mr.
Blank gives you one of his charming little essays, a certain
amount of thought goes on before pen is put to paper. One cannot
write "Scene I. An Open Place. Thunder and Lightning. Enter Three
Witches," or "As I look up from my window, the nodding daffodils
beckon to me to take the morning," one cannot give of one's best
in this way on the spur of the moment. At least, others cannot.
But when I have a new nib in my pen, then I can go straight from
my breakfast to the blotting-paper, and a new sheet of foolscap
fills itself magically with a stream of blue-black words. When
poets and idiots talk of the pleasure of writing, they mean the
pleasure of giving a piece of their minds to the public; with an
old nib a tedious business. They do not mean (as I do) the
pleasure of the artist in seeing beautifully shaped "k's" and
sinuous "s's" grow beneath his steel. Anybody else writing this
article might wonder "Will my readers like it?" I only tell
myself "How the compositors will love it!"

But perhaps they will not love it. Maybe I am a little above
their heads. I remember on one First of January receiving an
anonymous postcard wishing me a happy New Year, and suggesting
that I should give the compositors a happy New Year also by
writing more generously. In those days I got a thousand words
upon one sheet 8 in. by 5 in. I adopted the suggestion, but it
was a wrench; as it would be for a painter of miniatures forced
to spend the rest of his life painting the Town Council of
Boffington in the manner of Herkomer. My canvases are bigger now,
but they are still impressionistic. "Pretty, but what is it?"
remains the obvious comment; one steps back a pace and saws the
air with the hand; "You see it better from here, my love," one
says to one's wife. But if there be one compositor not carried
away by the mad rush of life, who in a leisurely hour (the
luncheon one, for instance) looks at the beautiful words with the
eye of an artist, not of a wage-earner, he, I think, will be
satisfied; he will be as glad as I am of my new nib. Does it
matter, then, what you who see only the printed word think of it?

A woman, who had studied what she called the science of
calligraphy, once offered to tell my character from my
handwriting. I prepared a special sample for her; it was full of
sentences like "To be good is to be happy," "Faith is the lode-
star of life," "We should always be kind to animals," and so on.
I wanted her to do her best. She gave the morning to it, and told
me at lunch that I was "synthetic." Probably you think that the
compositor has failed me here and printed "synthetic" when I
wrote "sympathetic." In just this way I misunderstood my
calligraphist at first, and I looked as sympathetic as I could.
However, she repeated "synthetic," so that there could be no
mistake. I begged her to tell me more, for I had thought that
every letter would reveal a secret, but all she would add was
"and not analytic." I went about for the rest of the day saying
proudly to myself "I am synthetic! I am synthetic! I am
synthetic!" and then I would add regretfully, "Alas, I am not
analytic!" I had no idea what it meant.

And how do you think she had deduced my syntheticness? Simply
from the fact that, to save time, I join some of my words
together. That isn't being synthetic, it is being in a hurry.
What she should have said was, "You are a busy man; your life is
one constant whirl; and probably you are of excellent moral
character and kind to animals." Then one would feel that one did
not write in vain.

My pen is getting tired; it has lost its first fair youth.
However, I can still go on. I was at school with a boy whose
uncle made nibs. If you detect traces of erudition in this
article, of which any decent man might be expected to be
innocent, I owe it to that boy. He once told me how many nibs his
uncle made in a year; luckily I have forgotten. Thousands,
probably. Every term that boy came back with a hundred of them;
one expected him to be very busy. After all, if you haven't the
brains or the inclination to work, it is something to have the
nibs. These nibs, however, were put to better uses. There is a
game you can play with them; you flick your nib against the other
boy's nib, and if a lucky shot puts the head of yours under his,
then a sharp tap capsizes him, and you have a hundred and one in
your collection. There is a good deal of strategy in the game
(whose finer points I have now forgotten), and I have no doubt
that they play it at the Admiralty in the off season. Another
game was to put a clean nib in your pen, place it lightly against
the cheek of a boy whose head was turned away from you, and then
call him suddenly. As Kipling says, we are the only really
humorous race. This boy's uncle died a year or two later and left
about œ80,000, but none of it to his nephew. Of course, he had
had the nibs every term. One mustn't forget that.

The nib I write this with is called the "Canadian Quill"; made, I
suppose, from some steel goose which flourishes across the seas,
and which Canadian housewives have to explain to their husbands
every Michaelmas. Well, it has seen me to the end of what I
wanted to say--if indeed I wanted to say anything. For it was
enough for me this morning just to write; with spring coming in
through the open windows and my good Canadian quill in my hand, I
could have copied out a directory. That is the real pleasure of
writing.

Sleeping With the Enemy?

2007-03-08T02:09:00.000-06:00

Just Jared-“I don’t think my features are entirely feminine. Yes, I have full lips and obviously I have no facial hair. But…take somebody like Penelope Cruz. She’s so feminine. Think about it. She has, like, long eyelashes, and to me she just looks very feminine. When I wake up in the morning and I have no makeup on, like right now, I think I look like a young boy.”

If you're a young boy, then call me Father Airington baby. But first things first, we gotta get you some new kicks...

Stu Jackson's Neighborhood Watch

2007-03-07T21:42:00.000-06:00

Intentional. Flagrant foul. Suspension.

Intentional. Flagrant foul. Suspension.

Unintentional? Offensive foul. No suspension.

Intentional. Defensive foul. Suspension?

ESPN-The league cited Artest for his foul on Ginobili in the third quarter of the Spurs' 122-88 victory. Ginobili caught Artest's elbow in his jaw while attempting to run through the lane, and the Argentine star fell to the ground as Artest got a personal foul.

Though Spurs coach Gregg Popovich jumped off the bench to argue for a flagrant foul, Ginobili got right back up, and the game continued. Afterward, Ginobili said he wasn't injured on the play and didn't consider it particularly serious, while Popovich said he had no problem with Artest's aggressive style of play.

"I didn't even see the play, but it couldn't have been that bad," said Mike Bibby, who declared himself "amazed" by the league's decision.

"There was no flagrant foul or technical foul on the play. They look at things differently for certain people, you could say."

Popovich said the Spurs didn't even contact the NBA about the play, something many teams -- including the Kings -- will do for any questionable play, particularly in the playoffs.

Ginobili was shocked when he heard about the suspension after practice at the Spurs' suburban training complex.

"For us it's good, because he's a great player, but we don't have much to do with it," Ginobili said. "It didn't hurt me. I said it after the game. But the league [watches] everything we do."

Intentional. Flagrant foul. On Kaman? $10,000 fine for Evans? No suspension?!

ESPN-"Certainly one clear difference is in the case of Reggie Evans we didn't have a clear view exactly what happened," Stu Jackson, the NBA vice president who handles such punishments, said Thursday. "We understand he reached underneath the player, but you couldn't see the end result. It's really an apple and an orange."

Intentional. Flagrant foul. Suspension.

Intentional. No foul. Suspension.

ESPN-Spurs point guard Tony Parker said justice was served.

"Jason Terry has been throwing a lot of punches in the series," Parker said. "He's gotten me so many times with cheap shots."

Intentional. Flagrant? Suspension?! (For Game 5 in a Finals tied at 2?! Wow.)

Chicago Sun Times- Dallas coach Avery Johnson spoke with the media a few hours before the suspension was announced, and made it clear he did not feel one was warranted.

"Shaq was just in an awkward position," Johnson said. "When you're in an awkward position and Stack comes in and tries to give a hard foul and not a layup ... I always talk to them about giving hard fouls, but we definitely don't want to injure players.

"Shaq was going up [and Stackhouse] made a hard foul on him. Just like [in Game 1] when Stack went up and Shaq gave him a hard foul and almost broke his nose.

"If that's a suspension ... they will have to ... review everything that's happened throughout the playoffs, and there may have to be some retribution or something and maybe go and suspend some other players maybe they forgot."

Unintentional. No foul. Suspension?

MSNBC-“It’s just unintentional,” Bryant added. “I felt horrible about it. It’s just basketball, it happens.”

Stu Jackson disagreed, and offered the NBA’s explanation on a conference call.

“Some of the determining factors were the fact that there was contact made with Ginobili above the shoulders and the fact that this particular action by Kobe was an unnatural basketball motion. Following a shot, he drove a stiff arm in a backward motion and struck Ginobili in the head,” Jackson said. “We did not view this as an inadvertent action.”

No foul was called on the play.

“This blow was so swift in real time that it’s understandable why, in fact, an official would have missed the contact,” Jackson said. “In our view, this was not an attempt to draw a foul.”

Boston Globe-"They said it was intentional," Kobe sniffs. "I challenge anyone to find a player who is going up to take the winning shot and tries to intentionally hit someone in the face. What kind of sense does that make?"

Ginobili hit the deck on the play, clearly smarting from Kobe's errant forearm. Kobe called his friend, Bruce Bowen, of the Spurs to check on Ginobili the next day, and Bowen told him the NBA had contacted Ginobili about the incident.

"Bruce told me Manu told them it was completely unintentional," Kobe says. "I figured that was that. But then I got word later I was suspended.

"I don't understand it. I guess if someone gets hit in the face, they feel they have to do something. If they don't want players to flare their arms out when they are shooting, then call us and let us know at least.

"Guys have been doing that as long as I've been in the league. [Former Pacers star] Chuck Person has been doing it for years."

ESPN-Of greatest significance, there was zero clamor from the Spurs for Bryant to be disciplined. There was minimal media attention devoted to the incident, until Monday morning, because prominent Spurs insisted that there was no incident.

Ginobili and coach Gregg Popovich immediately dismissed the notion that the hit was deliberate. "That's not his style," Pop said of Kobe after San Antonio's 96-94 overtime victory. Ginobili later told league security officials and the NBA Players Association that he hoped Bryant wouldn't be punished.

Unintentional. Flagrant foul. No suspension?

ESPN-With the Heat up 87-86 with 20.4 seconds left, Wade took a hard foul in the face, courtesy of his good friend James -- who was called for a flagrant foul as Wade writhed in pain near midcourt. Wade made both free throws to push the lead to 89-86, then made one more after being fouled again 2.4 seconds later.

"He was just going for the steal," Wade said.

"D-Wade knows it's not intentional," James said. "But it's part of the rules, you've got to call it."

Unintentional. Offensive foul. Suspension?!

ESPN-Nobody should be surprised that Kobe Bryant drew another one-game suspension for knocking someone else in the nose with his elbow, but the guy on the receiving end of that elbow actually thought the penalty was undeserved.

"As players, we know during a game when someone is trying to hurt you or be mean, and I never thought that was what was happening. So I'm really surprised by the decision," Minnesota's Marko Jaric told me this afternoon via cell phone about an hour after the NBA announced Bryant's one-game suspension.

Jaric said his only scar from the incident was a small marking above his eye, which is probably pretty fortunate since the elbow from Bryant gave Jaric a bloody nose, and as anybody who's ever been struck in the nose knows, a black eye often comes next. Just ask Manu Ginobili, who walked around with a shiner for two weeks after getting hit by Bryant's elbow in the Jan. 28 incident that previously earned Bryant a one-game suspension.

"I haven't seen the replay, but if you ask me what I thought about the play when it happened, I don't think he did it intentionally, and I don't think players should be suspended for things that happen unintentionally," Jaric said. "I think he was trying to draw a foul, and he swung his hand out to make it look dramatic, and he hit me by accident. He apologized right after."

Jaric said the pain from the strike was only a "2 or 3" on a scale of 1 to 10.

Stu, we need to talk. You're a busy man, I'll try to keep it brief. Do you watch The Simpsons? I know, again with the TV, but it's a good icebreaker. I don't watch it anymore-at least not the new episodes-but I'll still catch a rerun occasionally. There's a nostalgia to it, no? I only mention this because there was a scene that reminds me of you. Homer had formed a 'neighborhood watch' of mercenaries to catch a cat burglar and return Lisa's beloved saxophone. His brand of justice was not only vigilante, but ill advised and irrational. He was doing more harm to the community than good, and finally Lisa had to confront him.

"Dad, if you're the police, then who will police the police?"
"I don't know, Coast Guard?"

You are the Executive Vice President of Basketball Operations. Besides David Stern, you're the league's most influential officer, because you control the rules of the game. The stars are aligned for the game to redefine itself and you're acting like Homer Fucking Simpson.

Please, don't be offended, I say this out of love-and fear. A genuine love for this game, and a fear of you taking it over. You're on the short list of candidates to succeed the commish, yet you've shown a disheartening inability to perform your current job requirements. You don't even know a reach around when you see one.

The recurring complaints about the NBA-on the court-are about the bad officiating, star treatment, and some even go as far as to say the games are rigged. Last year's playoffs certainly didn't help you any, but let's not forget how the game got to this point . Sure, Money received his share of calls, but he also took his lumps, just like every other star. Not those Dwyane Wade, "Ooh, that'll look good in the commercial!" lumps either. It was a different league back then. Of course after Michael left, things changed. Pat Riley's bullyball had taken over. The League already had enough reminders that it was 'thuggish', and they certainly didn't need their premier teams playing that style of ball, so they changed the rules. No more hand/hip check defense, no bumping, no nothing. A decade later, we have a league with few true centers, and a perimeter full of lightning fast players who can't touch each other. (That, combined with the ensuing influx of Euroballers are what make a 195lb point guard a possible three-peat MVP, not his skin color. I hope.)

I understand that some of these circumstances are beyond your control. You're just the new guy and you're looking to make some improvements. Problem is, you're inconsistent and many times looking in the wrong direction. You want to make some retroactive calls? That Wizards v. Warriors debacle would've been a good one. You want to talk about "unnatural basketball motions"?

Oh, that's right, you meant Kobe. Way to prioritize. Okay, no more sarcasm. I know you've already taken Bruce Bowen to task, and perhaps you're only going to focus on rule infractions committed by premier players, since they're the ones who set the example. (It would explain why you didn't suspend Brian Cook for making the exact same play in that Knicks game you kept Kobe out of. Oh, sorry. Bad habit. No more sarcasm starting...now!) But again your rationale, and it's application are inconsistent. Are you punishing Kobe for his intentions or the result of the play? You couldn't be punishing by intent, since neither 'victim' saw any and if you were punishing based on result, LeBron should've been suspended too. Or is this part of your crackdown on flopping? I'll withhold judgment on that until Mr. "Fall down seven times, shoot fourteen free throws" comes back.

Regardless, the point I'm trying to make Stu, is that the League is ripe with young talent that shouldn't be tethered to these outdated rules. The game needs opening up, not more restrictions. If you want to get rid of flopping, how about allowing hand checks? The defenders can go back to physical play and not have to resort to baiting for a whistle. The officials were already emasculated, now you've gone and completely neutered them with your post factum suspensions. They all want the same thing, quality basketball, but it seems as though you have your own ideas of how to achieve this. The thing is, if you're the police....ah, forget it.

Double feature. Just because.

2007-02-27T23:39:00.000-06:00

Jason Whitlock Is Going To White Heaven

2007-02-23T19:03:00.000-06:00

Several more capable minds have weighed in on Uncle Ruckus' weekend in Vegas, but let's look at them in juxtaposition to similar statements made by Bill Cosby. (*via Straight Bangin' ) The problem of 'mainstream' hip hop peddling violence, misogyny, homophobia and corrosive misrepresentations of the black community is hardly a new one, an ever growing movement of dissent having existed within the culture for years now. The NBA had shed it's notorious label of being "too black" during Michael Jordan's tenure, only to have the issue rear it's ugly head again in the past decade with it's marriage to hip hop. Which leads us to Whitlock's diatribe, disguised as "Real Talk". While he and Dr. Huxtable may be delivering the same message, I doubt they have the same motivations.

It's certainly within reason to question whether these types of statements should be made publicly by anyone-black or not-and if so, whether Bill Cosby should be the one to express them given his history. However, his commitment to the education and empowerment of black youth is unassailable. He's spent countless hours promoting the necessity of a robust learning experience to minorities, and has backed that talk up with money-lots of it-including a one time $20 million donation to Spelman College. A man of such means has no need for self promotion, Cosby's only agenda is to draw attention to the problems at hand. A willingness to step outside of his gregarious public image and become a controversial lightning rod in the process, in my opinion, is indicative of a genuine desire to save the future of his race.

On the contrary, Jason Whitlock's hateful denunciations draw attention solely to himself. A reasonable man would assume that someone as committed in theory to a black renaissance as Whitlock has also committed the time, effort, or money that are prerequisite to making such incendiary statements. Ha. Whitlock probably thinks a collection plate is something restaurants use to pile up uneaten food for him. Has he ever provided any true analysis or solutions? Ha. In his eagerness to brand Scoop Jackson and practically an entire culture as savage caricatures of black incivility, he seems oblivious to the fact that he easily fits the description of another narrow minded stereotype, ol' Uncle Tom...

So is all of this just his plan to get into white heaven? Could be. It would definitely explain the Gospel of Jeff George. Why else would Big Greasy paint his vitriolic masterpieces with such broad strokes, ignoring the fact that violence and misogyny are lucrative for, and detrimental to, all races? WWF? Girls Gone Wild? The Sopranos? No, Whitlock saves his love for The Wire, which provides him the opportunity to mar someone else's canvas with his senselessness. David Simon is another man who has invested in his words, blessing the idiot box with a piercing portrayal of postmodern decay, neglect, and their consequences. The Wire is universally lauded by critics for it's resolute depictions of the drug war, disillusioning viewers to contemplate the complex nature of good and evil. I have trouble believing that Simon, Ed Burns, or anyone else associated with this show would see their work in such a simplistic manner as "The Adventures of the Black KKK". Instead of joining the talking heads in tossing around irresponsible generalizations, why doesn't Whitlock emulate Simon or Cosby, and direct his efforts towards achieving an improved sense of public discernment? (He could start with how Joe Kennedy was Stringer Bell's blueprint. Or how the Nu Klan held their rally in a city built by organized crime. A city that promises discretion to it's visitors while they cheat on their spouses and feed their addictions might attract 'undesireables'.) Because like those talking heads, and those whom he despises, Big Dummy is only interested in self advancement.

The only thing Big Wasteofsperm succeeded in doing was taking a bite out of something bigger than he could finish. David Stern is well aware of the "landmine issues"-race and class-and he's also astute enough to sidestep them. Are we really asking the Commissioner to become W.E.B. Du Bois? These are issues reflected by the NBA, not rooted in it. I'm not a big Sinatra fan, I can't stand Brooks & Dunn, and Wayne Newton frightens me. The NBA hasn't exactly embraced hip hop as a collective, and until the percentages of black folks in the stands match those on the court it's going to stay that way. I understand it, and I don't find anything particularly wrong with it. "It's just business." Tell 'em, String. However, what I would like to see more of from the league is an embracing of the communities that produce it's workforce. This is not to rally for a Lil' Weezy performance at next year's halftime show, but to ask for more stories like a Caron Butler. Stories of human frailties and redemption that can shatter stereotypes. Lord-and Reagan-knows Jason Whitlock won't write them.

* 2/26 Dave Zirin. Ether.

Damn.

2007-02-22T13:49:00.000-06:00

R.I.P. The Kobe & Kidd Era.
?-February 22, 2007.

It would've been beautiful. I'm posthumously reserving a spot for them in the greatest alleys and greatest backcourts of all time. Refreshments will be served in the community room after a processional from brother Ruffin.

jimmy ruffin - what becomes of the..(Tv)
Uploaded by capitainfunkk

Hova's Witness?

2007-02-20T12:33:00.000-06:00

"Get used to it, bitches."

New York Magazine, Oct. 27, '03-

...“Basketball is the right thing for Brooklyn now,” Ratner says firmly. “Just as baseball was the right thing when the Dodgers started up more than a century ago.”

This is the Eastern Conference champion New Jersey Nets that Ratner, the president of Forest City Ratner Companies, has in mind—or, soon, if Ratner has his way, the Brooklyn Nets. The team would play its home games in a spectacular arena designed by Frank Gehry, the architect who created the enviable Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain. This arena would rise from a platform constructed over the Long Island Rail Road yards on Atlantic Avenue, a short stroll from the late-night halal chicken joints favored by Syrian gypsy cabbies...

...At some point soon, “New Brooklyn” may indeed need a cheerleader, a Trump all its own. But it won’t be Bruce Ratner. “That’s the last thing I’d want to do,” he says a bit awkwardly. “It’s not my nature, and at the end of the day, I’m a real-estate developer.”...

... The Bloomberg administration is feverishly pushing the interagency Downtown Brooklyn Development Plan, which would rezone significant swaths of the city’s commercial quarters, mostly around Fulton Mall, to accommodate as many as ten Manhattan-style commercial skyscrapers, plus new parks and housing. All of this could—should—happen over the next ten years, Burden says. The idea is to “knit” together all of Brooklyn’s isolated assets—from the hip bistros of Smith Street to the design studios in Williamsburg to the ever-expanding bam to the ambitious waterfront parks planned to stretch from Brooklyn Heights to Greenpoint—into a cohesive bloc. “This is an absolutely huge priority,” Burden says. “Downtown Brooklyn is a key element of the administration’s citywide economic-development strategy. The city is very prepared in order to attract this growth, and we are willing to invest scarce public dollars and public open space to catalyze this growth.”

Ratner figures to be a serious player in this redevelopment. Adjacent to a new arena, Ratner plans to build a $2 billion, 21-acre development featuring both retail and office space and some 5,500 units of housing, which he says will come in various-size buildings and serve various income levels....

...Borough President Marty Markowitz is as Old Brooklyn in manner as a Junior’s egg cream, but he lights up when talk turns to the New Brooklyn Nets. “Brooklyn is the only location that works for the Nets,” enthuses Markowitz. “They left Long Island for a reason. They wouldn’t even be thinking about New Jersey if they realized that the natural fan base is here. All we can do is hope. Football, we don’t have room for an 80,000-seat stadium. Baseball, the Mets and the Yankees have complete veto power over a third team in New York City. The only sport is basketball. If we don’t get this team, the next time this comes around probably will not be in our lifetime.”

Black Enterprise, Jan. 23 '04-

Prior to teaming with Ratner, Carter retained an investment bank to explore the possibility of putting in a bid for the team. Later, the two decided they'd both stand to benefit if they worked together. Carter officially joined Ratner's investment group in early December as a minority shareholder, though the amount of his financial stake has not been released.

Brooklyn-born Carter, CEO of the multimillion-dollar Roc-A-Fella Records and Roc-A-Wear clothing line, who also owns Armadale Vodka and the 40/40 sports bar/restaurant in New York City, looks forward to the new team. Although he never got a chance to experience the Dodgers, he says "This is the new Dodgers. It's the Nets… I look forward to bringing prosperity and bringing pride [to Brooklyn].”

MTV News, Jun. 23 '05-

Jay says James' inclusion in the shoot is just a show of solidarity between chums and nothing more — especially not a business relationship.

"It's absolutely no Def Jam Sports or anything like that," Jay says, quashing a rumor that he might be managing LeBron. "No tampering going on; just a good friend of mine. He's been a friend since before he was in the NBA. If you look back on the tapes, I'm there at the McDonald's High School [All-American] games, supporting him. We're just friends, we have no business dealings at all. I can't do it because I have an interest: I sit on the board of the [New Jersey] Nets. It's a conflict."

Jay also clarified that LeBron will not be signing to the Roc as a rapper or, for that matter, rhyming at all: The superstar is sticking to the court. "I want him to be the greatest," Jay says. "My job is to keep him focused, not to take him outside of his arena."

True Hoop via S.I., Apr. 21, '06-

A little tampering, or so it would seem, from Nets owner Jay-Z: "'I tell people all the time, he's my friend first. If Cleveland is building a championship team around him, then my advice is to stay there. If it's the Nets who are building a championship team that could be around him, then my advice is to come to the Nets.'"

The Star Ledger, May 23, '06-

And most of it is based on educated guesses -- his friendship with Jay-Z, the fact that Aaron Goodwin had the foresight to negotiate increases from Nike, Coke, etc., if LBJ plays in one of the top three markets, and LBJ’s mindset after losing a tough series. The question(s) we have are these: 1) Is Jersey considered a top 3 market? Nike might not think so, considering the number of people who come to Nets games – and they’re not moving into Brooklyn for another two years after LBJ’s free agent summer of ’07. 2) He better be happy with that Nike raise, because he might have to play for peanuts for a year, because there’s no guarantee the Cavs would be feeling cooperative enough to consent to a sign-and-trade. 3) And finally, you have to wonder whether he’s daring enough to make such a crucial basketball decision based on a few million extra bucks of endorsement income, because such a move would destroy his overly-contrived image with the public, which would hate his guts -- especially in his own hometown. Anyway, here’s the bottom line: Come July 1, when the sting of the postseason loss wears off, he’ll announce that he’ll sign an extension with the Cavs. In the meantime, the league wants Jay-Z to know that if he continues to flaunt his friendship with the kid in Sports Illustrated, that constitutes tampering, and they told him that future attempts should be less brazen and amateurish.

Bron only re-upped for three more years with an option on the fourth in 2010. The Nets will be in Brooklyn by then, with a team option on two of only four contracts currently on the books for that year. Who threw the biggest party this past All Star Weekend? Together? Stern didn't want to get in the picture and make it too obvious, but why wouldn't he want the future of the league in New York with the prevailing culture's most media friendly mogul? Who else is going to fill that arena? Why else would Stern ignore what's obviously tampering? This is going to happen.

"Tonight we're gonna party like it's, 20 10?"

P.S. Couple more quick questions. Has Jay been planning this from the very begining? How long until Bron has the upper hand in this relationship? The only folks who age faster than NBA centers are rappers.

Weiden & Kennedy's Greatest Hits.

2007-02-20T02:00:00.000-06:00

Nike's top 20 commercials. Enjoy. (I rationed the Jumpman spots since they would've dominated the list, but this one deserves an Honorable Mention. Aren't you glad money stuck with the bald head? Much respek to Jack Ruby for the find.)

20.

19.

18.

17.

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14.

13.

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10.

9.

8.

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5.

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3.

2.

1.

P.S. I couldn't find the Fun Police. Sorry.

Gilbert Arenas should reproduce. Several Times.

2007-02-19T19:21:00.000-06:00

Washington Post-Moments after a group of Elvis Presley impersonators finished jumping off trampolines and dunking during a second-half timeout, Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas sneaked off the East bench, grabbed a ball, bounced off one of the trampolines and dunked. According to Arenas, the stunt was the result of a dare by Shaquille O'Neal, who has to donate between $50,000 and $100,000 to a charity of Arenas's choice. "I was nervous," Arenas said. "I was like, 'If I miss this and get hurt, I'm in trouble.'

Arenas said that one of the reasons he decided to terminate his agent, Dan Fegan, was because he wanted to be in complete control of how he was presented, flaws and all.

"I'm not going around saying I'm a good-old boy. I'm just like everybody. I make mistakes. I'm just your average kid. I'm not saying I'm this uppity guy who doesn't do anything wrong, who doesn't eat at Burger King. Hey, I eat Burger King before games." Arenas said. "You have these marketing teams and everyone is trying to create these golden images, these untouchable images -- and all of these untouchable images falter. Why? Because you've [portrayed] yourself like that, that means you're walking on eggshells. If you do anything wrong, you're down the toilet. You can't live your life."

Gil's Blog-We were sitting there in the timeout watching them Elvis guys dunk, and my big mouth, I was like, “Man, I can do that better than them.” And then they missed a couple so I was like, “When they finish up, I’m going to go do it.” Shaq was like, “Yeah, right.” He said, “I’ll put $100,000 in your foundation.” I was like, $100,000 or get in trouble by David Stern? $100,000 or get in trouble by David Stern? Oh man, I’ll take that fine. So I did it for my Zer0 2 Her0 charity. It was great though. Between the legs…Yea-ahhh! I used to practice those trampoline dunks back at Golden State. I can flip and everything. But I didn’t want to flip and crack my neck.

Breaking News: Amechi still gay, Hardaway still 'aint likin that shit

2007-02-15T10:47:00.000-06:00

He played in Miami for how long? What are the chances that Tim Hardaway has been in a threesome? At least he doesn't sugarcoat his hypocrisy.

Update 2/21: "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose!"

Just Because.

2007-02-14T13:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentines Day.